Thursday, February 18, 2010

don't take it personally

i have to laugh about my morning.  i just literally blogged about not trying to please everyone and being authentically you no matter what and today i found myself faced with this exact situation! 

without getting too much into it, i found out that something i did made a person i know unhappy.  it wasn't something i did intentionally and i didn't even know that anyone would get upset.  i actually did exactly what i was supposed to do, but someone still wound up bummed about it.  after finding out, it was all i could focus on.  i even jumped on the elliptical before my second class for a quick sweat session and still couldn't shake the icky feeling that comes with letting someone down.  after spending some time worrying about it, i took a time out and stopped beating myself up.  i'm human.  things come up that are out of my control and i do my best to deal.  i can't always solve problems and make everyone happy.  so yeah, i gave it thought.... because it deserved some thought.  if there is something i can do to resolve a situation that upsets someone (no matter what it is) then i'll do it.  but if someone is just upset because of personal preferences or desires, then i can only do so much.  i can't control everything that happens, i can only do my best.  and if my best isn't always good enough, then i can't hang onto guilt or frustration about it.  i have to be me.  i have to do what's right for me.  and i can't focus on one person's opinion. 

it definitely takes some time and thought to change the immediate reaction of guilt that i had.  but looking at it without judgement, i realized that neither one of us was in the wrong.  it had nothing to do with wrong or right.  it was just something that happened and this person might've been upset, but it wasn't anything to lose sleep over or get angered about.  and for me, it wasn't anything to beat myself up about.  it was a blip in both our lives and if this happened a couple of years ago i would've fretted and stressed about this until i got sick over it.  but its just a lesson learned and it's nothing personal. 

do you ever find that you take some things personally when you don't really need to?  sometimes its hard not to!  but if you find yourself in that situation, give it some thought because everyone's feelings deserve thought.  but then... let it go.  don't take it personally.

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