Zero-Love

I get frustrated very easily. If I say something will take 10 minutes and it takes 15, I get frustrated. If someone asks me to do something, I do it, and they question it, I get frustrated. If I work diligently on a project and someone tells me there is still work to be done, I get frustrated. My frustration usually either dissolves after 20 minutes or turns into me being red-faced and angry. Something that is really starting to frustrate me is my inability to tell people how I feel about something I’m working on. If I don’t think a project is going to be successful because I am on the front-line working on it, I am not allowed to say as much. I need to continue to keep working on it –even after I think I’ve exhausted all possibilities. Sometimes I guess it could be positive – I equate it to the little old lady sitting at the slot machine. She’ll sit there with her unending bucket of quarters, dedicated and on a mission, for hours on end. I used to think she was crazy. Now I believe it’s a tactic, because if that little old lady were to leave and I went over and put one quarter in and pulled that lever and I hit the jackpot, that little old lady would go into cardiac arrest. So I guess, when I really think about it, I get it. I understand the MO of pushing until you go crazy in hopes that you’ll hit it big… but understanding it doesn’t make me like it any better. I sometimes wish I could say STOP, let’s switch gears and try something new quickly before I lose my mind.

On a positive note (because I feel it’s always important to end on a high note) I’m very much looking forward to heading out after work to the park and playing tennis with the hubby. I’m sure I’ll get my butt kicked as usual, but it is fun nonetheless. I have a fabulous pink and brown racket that gives off the impression that I’m more skilled than I actually am. But I think the jig is up when the other players see me spending more time chasing the balls than actually hitting them.