Now I stumbled upon yoga in a quest for natural rehabilitation from anxiety. The more and more I learn, the more connected it all seems to be. I actually feel that there is a reason I’m here. I think there is a reason that I stumbled upon this school, teaching these lessons, with these other students. I’m definitely the lowest on the totem pole and have much to learn… but it’s just all connected. I think I said it before… but the purpose of yoga is the quiet the mind, body and subtle body (soul). Ok tears right there! This is what I’ve been looking for! Once everything is quiet you can get closer to seeing your essence. Now I know this sounds heady and intense and some people don’t even buy into it, but something was said yesterday that gave me chills. We’re currently doing a practice where once a day, every day, we give something away. Now I’ve had some trouble with this. During class yesterday we all talked about our experiences and what they mean. And while I was gearing up to go into the whole “it makes me feel so good to share my things with other people” I heard others not only being totally honest, but feeling the same way I do. It hurts to give stuff away! It’s MY stuff. I worked hard for it. It takes some effort to hand it over to someone else. Have I done it? Yes. Does it still hurt? Hell yeah, it does! My teacher said that this shows us how attached we are to possessions. Totally didn’t see that coming. I thought the point of this exercise was to make us feel good…. Not show us the pain we feel because of our attachment. Chills. The more we possess, the more our things possess us. And the more attachment we have… the less able we will be to let go and get closer to seeing who we really are… or our essence.
We spent a lot of time on the yoga sutras. There are 4 padas (or sections) within the yoga sutras. I am so intrigued by these sutras. To sum it up as best I understand… the yoga sutras act as a map for people at different levels of yoga experience. It’s like a map. It tells you how to get from point A (when you first start yoga) to point B (finding your essence). It explains that there will be obstacles and names them. It tells you how to overcome these obstacles. It really gives guidance for your yoga journey. Could you imagine if we had something like this in life! How amazing! It would describe the journey from child to adult and be littered with useful information such as… unless you are going to be a math teacher you’ll probably never use calculus, things that happen in high school aren’t as earth shattering as you believe them to be, you will grow apart from some of your very best friends, and labor may hurt but the reward at the end of pregnancy is far greater than the pain. Could you imagine if you had guidance to life? And it’s not something that predicts every action you make because there is no fun in that. It’s merely advice for you to take during your inner trip.
I’m nowhere close at this point to seeing my essence. I still don’t truly know who I am. But I’m excited to learn. And I think the most fabulous thing is that we all have an essence. It’s not who we are on the outside or what we do that defines us. What a monumental concept (for me anyway!). So simple and yet so freeing at the same time.