100th post!

in honor of my 100th post, i thought it would be fun to share a journaling exercise with you compliments of Hip Tranquil Chick (and if you haven't picked up HTC, a fabulous book by the inspiring Kimberly Wilson, run -don't walk-to your nearest book store and grab it!)

HTC is infused with different ideas for jump starting the life you want. it's packed with awesome yoga sequences to fit your every move, great advice on getting what you want personally and professionally and offers ways to dig deep down and discover what you really want and what really makes you happy.

so this particular exercise caught my eye and its focused on finding your passions.

write 20 passions that bring you pure bliss:

1 reading

2 writing (creative writing)

3 practicing yoga

4 learning about yogic philosophies

5 running (first 5k is in 4 weeks!)

6 traveling

7 fashion, creating looks/outfits

8 cooking, exploring different diets and how they impact my body

9 helping others overcome anxiety

10 holistic health

11 modern art

12 listening to 60s and 70s rock

13 animals

14 coaching, motivating students

15 drawing

16 adventure/challenge

17 meditation and introspection

18 Buddhism

19 learning

20 psychology, studying the mind

write 10 causes that inspire you

1 animal rights

2 environmentalism

3 mental health awareness (MHA)

4 activism for women's rights (NOW)

5 creating awareness about the importance of health (discover and recover, UNICEF, make a wish)

6 global and national antipoverty movements

7 human rights (oxfam)

8 fight against cancer (team in training)

9 creativity and creative arts

10 food drives, clothing drives, etc.

write out your top 10 strengths

1 detail oriented

2 hard working, dedicated

3 writing

4 creating goals, strategic planning

5 creative

6 work well with others/in groups

7 determined

8 decorating/designing

9 public speaking

10 quick study

now, my job is to look over these lists and look for similarities. i'm going to see if common themes emerge or if i can tie things together and bring more of these aspects into my life. maybe i can use some of these ideas to reevaluate my goals and make sure i'm on the right path.

so as i start that, grab your journal or notebook and start your own lists. see if you have anything pop out at you that you may have overlooked. take your time and really search your heart. maybe while researching causes that inspire you, you'll find the perfect charity to volunteer with that will allow you the opportunity to display your passions for public speaking and event planning!

*exercise courtesy of hip tranquil chick by kimberly wilson

* image: english language expert

happy october

i love october. it's one of my favorite months. after coming home from europe and feeling like i got hit by a mack truck with all of the things i came home to i decided to take a time out and reflect on some things. one of the things i focused a lot on was some soul searching. this search lead me to unearth my curiousity about meditation. i actually have a workbook on insight meditation (because i'm a nerd i absolutely love interactive books) and finally pulled it from my bookshelf. i often like to dedicate my months to something... almost like a lifestyle theme. so it feels almost too right to have this month, my favorite month, dedicated to meditation.

even though i just started reading the book i've already started to dig up some rather uncomfortable things which is both good and bad. i always like learning about emotions and feelings and why people (especially myself) behave the way we do. But you have to be ready for this kind of stuff... pretty powerful. so i'll be sure to update as i go along. i believe october is going to be one hell of a month for my meditation practice.

my soul searching also kicked me into overdrive on the motivation front and i officially finished the bulk of my kickboxing and spin certification exams. i'm very excited to start launching these classes in the new year.

other things i'm looking forward to:

* halloween party with my favorites

*weekly lunch dates with my girls

*a weekend getaway with the hubby out east filled with wine tasting and pumpkin picking

*cool morning runs

*walking through falling leaves with puggle

*completing my additional certifications and adding classes to my schedule

*pulling out all my fall clothes and maybe throwing in a tiny autumn shopping spree

*and of course (!) lots of active vinyasa to warm up the body on those chilly days

happy october to all!

image: just get there blog

coping

i'm currently avoiding the task of getting ready to head into new jersey tonight for my uncle's wake. i almost feel like if i don't get ready than none of this is real. it's hard to find comfort in family because they are all suffering and coping as much as i am. i feel my energy is massively displaced, i've pretty much dive-bombed off the running wagon and my mat has remained curled up in the back of my car for days (only seeing the light of day when i unroll it to teach a class). after being couch-bound all weekend with a nasty cold and sore throat i felt unable to muster the strength to do anything after hearing of my uncle's passing so i've pretty much been sidelined for almost a straight week. i'm not feeling like myself. i don't even think i am myself. i'm keeping a stiff upper lip and playing the "rock" card during this time for those that need me to, but i'm slowly crumbling and don't think my brave face will hold up tonight.

these are the times when anxiety finds ways to creep up on us. our defenses are down and we're anywhere BUT in the present moment (the present moment often feels to painful). so i've found other ways to redirect my energy and attention until my brain fully wraps around recent events... i did some soul searching.

great loss (whether it be death, a break up, job-related or a busted friendship) can sometimes guide you into a deeper sense of who you are. struggles can lead to triumphs and sadness can bring closure. we tend to always want to avoid pain and suffering at any cost. i see this a lot in my classes. students struggle and twist and squirm when they find themselves in an uncomfortable pose and i always try to offer a nod to acknowledge their discomfort but also try to remind them that it's ok to just sit with it. it's ok to just be with it. i've spent a lot of time and energy in totally zoning out and i rarely have been talking about how i feel. but tonight i'm going to be face to face with the reality of it and i need to be ok with it.

if i need to cry, then i'll cry. if i need a hug, i'll ask for one. when i see my family hurting, i'll go to them. and when it's time to say good bye, i will. i can't 'check out' because i'm afraid of my feelings and afraid to let go. it's not about me.

i'm giving myself one more half hour and then i'm getting off the couch, out of my pajamas (which i've pretty much been living in lately) and getting ready to face this day. i won't break down, but i'll be sad. and i'll sit with it. and it'll be ok. we'll all be ok. but we'll never make it thru this if we spend more time fighting how we feel than finding solace in healing from it.

Currently Loving This: Quote

"People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them"
- George Bernard Shaw

I thought this quote was really interesting. I can't even remember how many times I avoided something because of my anxiety...

• I can't go out tonight because my stomach has been upset all day and going out might make it worse
• I can't drive to work today because I may have a panic attack
• I can't go to the mall with my friends because my anxiety might make me feel sick and then I'd have to make everyone leave and I'd be embarrassed
• I can't let my husband take me out to a restaurant as a surprise because what if he picks one that has food that upsets my stomach and then I can't eat and I'll be ill

ETC, ETC, ETC...

It wasn't so obvious then, but all I was doing was allowing myself to be a victim of my anxiety. I let it rule my life. If I even felt the twinge of a stomach pain I launched myself into a panic and hid under the covers "just in case." I was so scared of having a panic attack in public or having someone 'find out' that I had anxiety that I eliminated that fear by completely shutting myself off from my life.

Don't become a victim. Don't let anxiety or circumstances control your actions and thoughts. I spent too long blaming my anxiety for my unhappiness and frustration with things. Anxiety and circumstances aren't out of your control. Having a bad day? Turn it around! Take out a piece of paper and write down everything you're thankful for or recall a memory of you having the time of your life and pull that happiness into the present moment. Feel in a funk? Journal about things bothering you and come up with some action plans to turn the situations around. Stressed about the economy and financial stability? Use this as an opportunity to take control of your finances and get creative. Have date nights in and rent fun movies, throw pot luck parties with your friends... or look for new and innovative ways to boost your bank account. Arts and crafts your thing? Start creating some things and sell them to friends and family or local boutiques. Or look into becoming a party rep for something like Pampered Chef or Party Lite.

Next time you're unhappy, don't look for something or someone to blame. Use your energy in a positive way and instead of waiting for things to happen, start to make them happen.

Motivation in a Minute

One of the most important things to me is motivation. Since I spent a good part of my life without it, I'm now obsessed with it. Motivation gets me out of bed in the morning, helps me sink a little deeper into an intense pose, it makes me push that much harder when I hit the treadmill, it keeps me positive when life decides to take a detour I didn't plan on...

So since I tend to be a little micro-focused when it comes to things, I've decided to really try and devote equal time to everything I want to do instead of all my time into one thing I want to do. A lot of my time lately has been spent on my yoga classes. I really try to fine-tune them to every class and every person I work with. This means that my devotion to running has fallen to the wayside. Fortunately for me, I just found a reason to get my butt into gear and get back into running. I'm going to partake in a 5k fundraiser. I'm super excited for this! Not only is it running - but it's running for a cause... what could be better than that!

It's time to put the sneaker to the pavement and dig deep. It's time to ramp up my time management and get used to fitting everything in. I know I can do it. I just have to have focus, determination and motivation.

It's time to take everything I want to do and hit the ground running!