no laptop... wha wha!?

i've been a little MIA since i've lost access to my laptop.  i accidentally snapped the charger wire (don't ask) and when my laptop ran out of battery i fell into emotional dispair.  ok, not really.  i did get bummed though.  hubby came to the rescue by ordering another charger and since he's out for the day i've decided to jump on his PC and fit in a quick blog. 

i've been super busy working on new sequencing for my yoga classes, kickbox choreography and compiling new class soundtracks... you know me.  i love my music!  in between all of that i'm teaching, teaching, teaching like a little crazy person. 

anyway, i wanted to get in a quick word about the Yamas and Niyamas i chatted about awhile ago.  they are kind of like the moral codes of yoga and i talk about them in my Present Moment Workshop.  i wanted to share some of them with you because i really do believe that its not just a matter of changing our energy or actions when healing from anxiety, but its also a matter of changing our thoughts.  and those thoughts tend to be negative!  we create horrible anticipations with "what ifs" and we tend to make catastrophies out of mole hills.  so, let's touch on the first one... AHIMSA.  ahimsa is the practice of non violence.  now this can be anything from vegetarianism to not saying hurtful things to someone when engaged in an argument... but for those of us with anxiety, we should take extra caution to practice non violence towards ourselves. 

stop beating yourself up!  healing is a journey, not just a destination.  and we all know anxiety is an emotion, so it will never just go away.  we need to learn from it, understand it and put effort into helping ourselves.  be aware of negative thoughts!  my yoga practice really helped me create an awareness of my thoughts and meditation time helped me change old patterns and work on clearing the mind to keep it at peace.  i recognize if my thoughts are crazy out of control or completely not logical.  i didn't always used to be able to do this.  i used to hang out with negative people, i used to feed into my negative energy and i never missed an opportunity to put myself down.  i'd never treat another person as badly as i treated myself.  when i realized this... i began to keep track of my negativity and my scary thoughts.  if something anxious came up and my thoughts began to spin out of control, i took a time out and put all my thoughts on paper to clear my mind and worked on changing those negative, bad and scary thoughts to logical, calm and rational thoughts.  it helps!  and i used to underestimate the power of positivity and self kindness.

do you tend to hang out on the negative side?  have you ever tried to see the good in scary situations or do you just jump to anticipating the worst?  do you ever take the time to think about your thoughts??

try it today!  keep track with little tally marks or numbers.  see at the end of the day how many negative, bad thoughts you have and how strongly they impact your anxiety.  they feed into it.  after becoming aware of your thoughts you can have better control over switching the patterns.  break the negative habit for a positive one.  talk yourself logically through anxious situations and make an effort to create happy and positive "what ifs."  create affirmations for yourself that remind you how incredible you are and how dedicated to this journey you are.  and of course include the fact that you are strong and you can do this!  you may find thinking about your thoughts eye opening.

as one journey ends, another begins

today marks the end of june and also the end of my immersion into the yamas. i spent 30 days honoring the yamas and including them into my life as often as possible. i embraced them during meditations and shared them with others. i learned a lot about myself in the process.

i struggled a lot with brahmacarya (moderation). to expand on this philosophy i tried to incorporate the practice of moderation in all areas of my life and i found out that i tend to overindulge in things... and quite often! ahimsa (non-violence) also gave me some trouble in respect to negative thoughts. i found it tough to stay positive when faced with challenges - and that happened quite a bit this month. i found myself getting frustrated and down on myself and had to work hard at turning it around.

satya (truthfulness) was wonderful to embrace. i began to say "i am who i am and it is what it is" during my yoga practice. it kind of became my little mantra. there are always people who will judge you and think you're wrong because you're not like them, but don't change yourself to suit someone else's needs. there are people who will like my classes and those who won't, there are people that will connect with me and my interests and those that fall far from them and there will be things that i can do with ease and things i struggle through. and it's all ok because i remembered to honor myself and my journey for what it is... personal growth and experience. and all i can do is welcome people and be myself.

this also brings me to asteya (generosity/non-stealing). i did a workshop this month and was so thrilled to get to share what i know about anxiety. i look forward to any opportunity i have to share yoga and help empower people suffering from stress and anxiety.

and then we come to aparigraha (non-greedy). i practiced this in a way that really connected with me when i learned about it - don't harbor greed for what another person has or what someone else is. jealousy. ditch it. it doesn't do anyone any good. rather than spend time focusing on everything that everyone else has and what i don't have, i tend change my perspective a bit. these people no longer result in me being jealous, rather they serve as inspiration for me to improve.

how do you incorporate the philosophies of the yamas into your life?

how do i love me? let me count the ways!

I just started another 6-week stress and anxiety relief program on Thursday nights. During these classes I always like to introduce both yogic practices and also philosophies to give students a full understanding of how yoga can help alleviate stress. Last night we opened the class with a discussion on Ahimsa (non-harming). Now even if you're not suffering from stress or anxiety, you probably find yourself having negative thoughts and maybe beating yourself up over something you did or said. Those of us with stress and anxiety do this times 10! So it felt fitting to start off the program with the idea of being nice to ourselves.

So what do you do to treat yourself well and remind yourself you're worth it? Here are some things I do for myself that I find super comforting and help keep me in check when I find myself going overboard with the mental punches.

* take to my journal and jot down all the things i'm grateful for and proud of myself for accomplishing

* treat myself to a night of my favorite tv shows, a decadent dessert, hot bath, a day in bed with a stack of new books or a martini

* if it's a nagging doubt that i'm having, i keep pushing until i succeed

* i sit in meditation and focus on how far i've come, from being afraid to leave my apartment to growing my own business and making it a habit to step outside my comfort zone

we talked about tallying negative thoughts. grab a piece of paper, business card or notepad and just make a small tally mark for each negative thought you catch yourself having. I'm betting you'll be surprised by the number at the end of the day. Cultivate awareness and keep track of these thoughts, when you tend to have the most negative thoughts and what they center around.

Then, create the opposite thought and feeling. Inhale that opposite emotion all the way into your heart. Treat yourself to something today. We're so worth it!

picture: peaceful spring, philip matthews

keeping up with commitment

being committed to commitment isn't easy! i never realized how often those moments of "i just want to curl up on the couch with a book or reality tv marathon" come up. and before i started paying attention to them, i fell victim to them more often than not.

one of my goals for this year is to prep myself for a half marathon to run next year so i've officially started the training. it's not an easy schedule, but i've promised myself that i'll stick to it. and every time i try to talk myself out of a workout or run or hitting the yoga mat i take a moment to tell myself that i deserve to keep that promise to myself.

being committed to something gives me a feeling of fulfillment. being anxious kept me from being committed to things i wanted to do because it stressed me out to have to do something. i always allowed myself an "out" and usually bailed at the first signs of stress. i enabled my anxiety to control what i did and didn't do. so this year of commitment means a lot to me.

and i didn't forget about the yamas! i love ahimsa (non-harming). some ways in which i practice this in my life are through my vegetarian diet, honoring my body during workouts and never pushing myself into a yoga pose because i simply want to look good doing it. i have also been incorporating more green changes into my home (like using as much recycled, natural and organic products as i can) and i have an application to volunteer at an animal shelter that i'm super excited about.

so far so good on my feelings about commitment and working on my goals. and i'm having a blast incorporating and practicing the yamas on and off the mat. i'm off to teach tonight and am thinking i need to infuse a little fun into tonight's class!