slow and steady works for me

i was super excited to see a friend a hadn't seen in months this past weekend.  she's a killer hostest and always welcomes my pup (aka the 4-legged love of my life) over with me.  she's one of those people i can tell anything to and, like it or not, i'm gonna get back brutal honesty.  she's known about my struggles with anxiety since way back when and has always been a supportive structure in my life. so since we hadn't connected in awhile, we had much catching up to do and something she was very interested in was seeing how i was doing with my anxiety.

i lit up and told her i'd been panic attack free for almost 2 years, symptom free (pounding heart, shortness of breath, blurred vision, etc) and i was officially living it up in ways i was previously scared to (two amazing trips booked for the fall!).  she was impressed and proud and asked me "so you never even feel anxious anymore?"  -insert sound of screeching brakes-

i responded that i absolutely still get anxious, its an emotion. i can't turn it off any more than i could turn off happiness or sadness.  what i did turn off is the crippling fear from it. yeah, i get anxious, but it no longer holds me back or escalates into life altering fear.  and you guys know how i always share that i still sometimes get anxious in the mornings?  well, i've never quit my early classes or turned down early sessions with clients due to the chance i could feel anxious. i used to RUN from whatever caused me even a hint of anxiety. she looked at my quizzically and said "so you're pretty much in the same place you always were with this."

um NO

definitely not

it took me close to 10 years to develop that level of anxiety, the panic attacks, the loop of negative thoughts, the fear, the insecurity....

my healing journey is not one that happens at the flip of a switch!  no one's journey is.  we can't change overnight... at least, not a lasting change. it takes time to learn what works for us, what helps us alleviate our anxiety, for us to practice overcoming things that scare us, talking and sharing our experiences, learning to meditate or change negative thoughts to positive... oh my gosh!  there's no way this happens overnight.

and this got me thinking.. how many people doubt their journey if it doesn't happen in the blink of an eye? how many people give up because they feel they'll "never get it."  it took me almost a month before i could work through a panic attack and ward it off and many more months to stop being scared that one could "happen at any moment." we get used to thinking a certain way and dreading certain things, so we have to restructure our entire thought processes and perceptions.  and we're not used to doing it.  it shocked me that my friend interpreted slow and steady progress, for no progress.

so don't get frustrated if your journey is slower than you'd like it to be or different from someone else's.  you are working on making positive, powerful and lasting changes in your life! please stick with it!  find your outlets, track negative thoughts, practice positive ones and know that each step along the way is one to be celebrated!  and above all else, don't let someone else's perceptions of your journey alter your own perceptions. 

a shift in perception can change your world

have you ever noticed how powerful it is to change your perception of a situation?

i've seen a powerful theme emerge in friends and clients - and that's a tendency to look on the dark side of life.  and i've done it too.  it's so easy to get caught up in the negative.  have you ever tracked your negative thoughts?  it's something i always  suggest to people dealing with anxiety, immense stress or just feeling overwhelmed.  we can have hundreds of negative thoughts a day!  it can be as simple as waking up in the morning and your first thought is ugh, i so don't want to go to work today or something more extreme like hearing really bad news or getting down over a missed job opportunity. 

i used to obsessively focus on anxious symptoms.  if my stomach hurt, or my head was pounding, or my breath was quick i would immediately panic and 'just know' that any minute i was going to have a panic attack.

it ruled my life.  i literally waited for the symptoms to occur.  and when they didn't, i tortured myself waiting for them to surface... predicting that they would pop up at any moment. 

something i just started doing in my classes (and feel that i'm really going to continue) is that after our practice, when everyone is peaceful in savasana, i ask them to take a moment to focus on how their practice has made them feel.  whether your yoga leaves you energized, tranquil, chill or just clear headed, taking a moment to focus on how good you feel can feel totally foreign to some of us!  every chance i get i take a mental inventory of how good i'm feeling - whether sore from a kick ass workout or relaxed after yoga or energized after teaching a heart pumping class - i wanna remember those feelings.  i want to go to the good feelings more often so when something negative or unfortunate does pop up, i don't find myself dwelling on it.

try it out next time after you get your yoga on or right as you settle in for the night.  think about 3 really good things you felt throughout the day or did.  create awareness around the positive in your life.  begin to focus on the good... and watch the negativity start to fade away. our attention to it will no longer fuel it. 

3 things i appreciated today:

1) i taught a killer fun yoga class that left everyone drenched (including myself!)
2) rocked it through a spin class right after and pushed myself to the limit - i felt amazingly strong after
3) feeling totally relaxed and energized for a night out on the town with some friends

currently loving this: quote

On this rainy Sunday afternoon I wanted to share a quote with you:

"The world around us is just a dream, no more real than the dreams we have when we are asleep. Often we dream about the same people, the same places as when we are awake. The difference is that when we are asleep we have no control over our actions. We have no control over whether the dream is happy or sad. When we are awake, we do have a certain amount of control over how we perceive our environment and ourselves. So when we are awake, we should dream a better dream."
-Lama Pema Wangdak, a Tibetan teacher in nyc.

Change your perception, change your life. Make today a beautiful dream.