shedding some light on satya

touching on the next yama can be challenging.  satya means truthfulness.  we always have the chance to practice this with others, but what about with ourselves?  i never realized that when i hid my anxiety i was lying about a huge part of my life.  i ended a friendship with a very close friend just so i wouldn't have to tell her about my anxiety.  and i lied about it when she questioned me.  of course my growing distance seemed to come out of nowhere... especially from her perspective.  but rather than be honest with her, or myself, i just lied and made up reasons why i could never meet up or have time for a chat on the phone.  if i was anxious about going to dinner with family i would lie and say i didn't feel well to get out of it.  and if something scared me even though i knew it logically shouldn't (like driving to a store down the block), i lied to myself and tried to justify my fear rather than work through it.  i accepted the anxiety as a part of me and instead of changing, i just defended myself.  that defensiveness was me just lying to everyone, including myself. 

so take time to be honest about what's going on.  you don't have to scream it from the rooftops, but if you find friendships or relationships are suffering under the weight of carrying this secret around, then find someone you trust and share with them what's going on.  its often a huge relief to both you and them.  and i found that people didn't judge me, even if they didn't understand.  once i shared my anxieties i was able to talk through them with friends and lean on supportive family members when i found myself struggling on my journey. 

and most importantly, be honest with yourself.  understand your fears and stressors and work through them.  be honest about the intensity of the fears and the reality of them happening.  be honest about what helps you feel calm... is it yoga or reading or talking to a friend on the phone?  be honest with yourself if you find that you're having a panic attack... you know it's just a panic attack and it won't hurt you.  and if being honest out loud is too intense right now, then spill it in a journal.  get it all out.  write passionately, honestly and from your heart about your feelings and emotions. 

sometimes we find that honesty really is the best policy. 

as one journey ends, another begins

today marks the end of june and also the end of my immersion into the yamas. i spent 30 days honoring the yamas and including them into my life as often as possible. i embraced them during meditations and shared them with others. i learned a lot about myself in the process.

i struggled a lot with brahmacarya (moderation). to expand on this philosophy i tried to incorporate the practice of moderation in all areas of my life and i found out that i tend to overindulge in things... and quite often! ahimsa (non-violence) also gave me some trouble in respect to negative thoughts. i found it tough to stay positive when faced with challenges - and that happened quite a bit this month. i found myself getting frustrated and down on myself and had to work hard at turning it around.

satya (truthfulness) was wonderful to embrace. i began to say "i am who i am and it is what it is" during my yoga practice. it kind of became my little mantra. there are always people who will judge you and think you're wrong because you're not like them, but don't change yourself to suit someone else's needs. there are people who will like my classes and those who won't, there are people that will connect with me and my interests and those that fall far from them and there will be things that i can do with ease and things i struggle through. and it's all ok because i remembered to honor myself and my journey for what it is... personal growth and experience. and all i can do is welcome people and be myself.

this also brings me to asteya (generosity/non-stealing). i did a workshop this month and was so thrilled to get to share what i know about anxiety. i look forward to any opportunity i have to share yoga and help empower people suffering from stress and anxiety.

and then we come to aparigraha (non-greedy). i practiced this in a way that really connected with me when i learned about it - don't harbor greed for what another person has or what someone else is. jealousy. ditch it. it doesn't do anyone any good. rather than spend time focusing on everything that everyone else has and what i don't have, i tend change my perspective a bit. these people no longer result in me being jealous, rather they serve as inspiration for me to improve.

how do you incorporate the philosophies of the yamas into your life?