this morning in class i got into an interesting discussion about forgiveness. a yogini friend of mine recently went through a difficult time and is still in the transition stage of moving from anger and pain into peace and forgiveness. i commented that, while i'm immensely proud of her, i don't know if i myself would have been able to forgive as successfully as she has at this point in her life. she's an amazing girl and i know its her strength and resilience that aids in her growth. that convo happened almost 5 hours ago and i still find myself thinking about it. forgiveness has always been a tough one for me. for some reason, i always felt that if i forgave someone i was somehow condoning and accepting their behavior towards me. but forgiveness is really about the freedom to let go of grudges, release pent up pain and breathe a little lighter. it doesn't have anything to do with me rolling over and becoming a doormat. it has to do with me being strong enough and secure enough to let it go (whatever "it" may be).
if we don't forgive people for hurting us, we're the only ones carrying that weight on our shoulders. we'll always have that grudge holding us back and causing us pain. i know there are definitely some grudges i'd like to release. so while last week was all about giving thanks, i'm making this week all about offering forgiveness. and its something i want to do for me. i know the people that i'd like to forgive won't even know that i have forgiven, but i'll know. and for right now, that's what i need to do. forgiveness is powerful because its not always easy. it doesn't make us weak. it takes more strength to forgive than it does to hold onto hate or anger. and those emotions are so toxic to us.
and while my mind is meditating and working on forgiveness my body will be twisting and releasing all of those long-held, painful emotions that come with grudges.
a heart-opening and twisting practice will be my life on the mat. saying "i forgive you" will be my life off the mat.
image: epic self