what's with all the raw food and running?

i'm sure at one point you may have wondered that. how did a girl that blogs about adventures with anxiety get so hung up on running, raw food and all the things that go with it? i know sometimes i tend to post a lot about working out, running, bikram yoga and raw/vegan food and there seems like there's no connection. well, i think i'm so into these things because by trying them i've experienced the connection first hand. i never used to care about my health... case in point - i used to smoke to deal with my anxiety because i believed it calmed me down. i found nothing wrong with knocking back cocktails and nursing stomach aches with boatloads of funky colored meds like pepto. but that only masked my issues - never addressed them. and it definitely never helped me understand what i was going through.



enter health obsession. yoga was first for the obvious reason that it connects the mind and body and helps to ease tension and stress in the body. i needed more depth than a basic class at my gym so i went through the certification process and was so empowered by the mental changes i underwent that i jumped into teaching. and while most people find restorative totally bliss-inducing, i sometimes found that my mind needed a more active practice to get me in the moment. here is where bikram and vinyasa and power yoga come in. for me, i tend to gravitate towards toughing it out on the mat because that's when i find i get most lost in the present moment and feel the most connected to myself. don't get me wrong, i often turn to legs up the wall when i need a quick stress reliever, but i need a combo of the two practices to keep me feeling grounded. its not solely for the purposes of sweating. i just find myself connecting more to these practices at this time in my life. so even though i talk a lot about yoga that doesn't sound relaxing... for me it totally is! and stress busting!



running is the same thing. when i first started running i used to imagine my problems and anxieties as little monsters chasing behind me (please don't stop reading, i promise i didn't lose my mind!) and the more i ran the more i left them behind. one of the main reasons i had a lot of anxiety is because i had a ton of pent up energy and it was filtering out in very negative ways. it took me a long time to realize that and learn how to channel it into better things. running does that for me. so while it may, once again, not seem to have a connection to anxiety.... it absolutely does. and even if running isn't your bag, i always recommend clients get some sort of exercise suitable for them... even 30 mins a day works! a walk, run, cardio class, jumping rope, playing ball with your dog... doesn't matter what it is because for each person it's different. anxious people tend to have a lot of energy and they need to release it in ways that positively work for them.



and finally the raw food. i'm not just into raw food. i'm into health food. i've been veggie for quite a few years so i didn't just jump into raw/vegan food. it's been a natural and slow transition. and it's one that i don't know will always work for me. but after experimenting with numerous dietary lifestyle changes, raw/vegan made me feel the best. energetic, alert, grounded, strong and best of all it helped alleviate unnecessary stomach aches caused by excesses of caffeine and processed food. stomach aches, as you know, were my biggest anxious trigger so every time i self-induced one by eating food i knew i shouldn't , it was like causing me to have a panic attack on the button. NO FUN. so there is a connection to raw/vegan food for me and anxiety. and even if raw food sounds as appealing as a root canal to you, health food shouldn't. the more toxic food we put in our bodies the more toxic we feel. i've had clients feel better just by cutting out (ok, or cutting down) sugar and caffeine, because what do they do? cause excesses of energy that cause shakiness, racing thoughts and racing hearts... very common symptoms of anxiety. so someone would drink a cup of coffee, experience these symptoms, and ultimately give himself or herself a panic attack. for coffee? no thanks!



and ultimately my obsession with health also runs a bit deeper. while my anxieties didn't center on this, a lot of people's anxieties do - being sick. two stressors happen here: 1) people get anxious about needles, doc visits, hospitals, vomiting, diarrhea, etc; and 2) illness, mysterious symptoms, death, heart attack, etc.



so keeping healthy helps to alleviate some of these stressors. if you amp up your health habits and get sick less, there's less doc visits, meds, shots and all those other unpleasant symptoms that go along with being sick. and also, being healthy helps get rid of some feelings like headaches, fatigue, and nausea which some people could be causing by lifestyle choices and misinterpret as something else.... much like i misinterpreted the effects my food choices were having on me. i thought i was having panic attacks when it was more like caffeine overload.



this is really just from my point of view of what has worked for me, people i know and clients. there isn't just one cure-all for anxiety because most people need different things in their lives to cope and heal. but i like to offer things that work for me so you can know about them and maybe they'll work for you and maybe they won't. and from there you can keep the change or tweak it to help you. so if sometimes it seems like i go off on tangents about all sorts of things that don't seem related to anxiety.... they are.



i'd love to hear about the things that work for you!

2009: A Year In Review

after nearly 12 hours of sleep, my aches and sniffles seem to be a bit more tame this morning. i woke up bright eyed around 5am and managed to lay in bed until 6. i fed my 4-legged loves, brewed some coffee and booted up my laptop for my annual YEAR IN REVIEW blog post. i was going to journal this, but never got around to it so i'm asking a lot of my brain this morning... but i am excited to recap with you what was probably one of my most transitional and powerful years to date.

Sept-Dec 2008 (yes, i know i'm cheating a bit here, but it's important to include!) completed 200 hours of hatha yoga teacher training and am released out into the world to share what i've learned.

Jan 2009: juggling the start of my third year in PR and also taking on my very first yoga class on saturdays.

early jan 2009: make the monumental decision to leave the safety and comfort of PR to teach yoga full time. after seeing how much it changed my life, i can't imagine not sharing this gift with everyone in the world. i sit in my boss' office, sick to my stomach, and tell him of my decision. one of the most emotional days of my life. i loved my job and my boss and co-workers and clients. after it was done, i swore i was going to throw up.

jan 16, 2009: last day of PR job. hubby and i go out to celebrate my next steps into the world even though i still have that nagging vomit feeling.

jan 24th : gave first ever Present Moment Workshop in honor of Yoga Day USA. met with huge response and gave me signs i was on the right path.

feb 2009: with the help of my fabulous sister-in-law, Anxiety to Zen was launched!

march 2009: slowly gathering more classes under my belt. i join the team at world gym and harmony yoga studio. became VP of Discover & Recover, a non-prof dedicated to raising money for yoga scholarships and introducing alternative health therapies into institutions.

april 2009: first private client signs on for anxiety and stress coaching. went to florida with hubby on a company trip and had a great time. the last time we went i was so riddled with anxiety i skipped out on some group activities and dinners and barely spoke when faced with new people. this year, i partied it up with everyone and finished the trip off rocking out to "sweet home alabama" on the dance floor.

may 2009: my 26th birthday. feeling good about leaving 25.

july 2009: was interviewed by kimberly wilson (www.kimberlywilson.com/blog) and had my story, along with Anxiety to Zen, featured on her amazing site. got to talk to a teacher that i really, really look up to and admire.

summer 2009: kept adding more classes and officially became considered a part time teacher. on my time sheet... bally's, world gym, harmony yoga, sunrise health club and a handful of private clients. website kept growing as i reached out to more people for insights and thoughts on anxiety and yoga. gave another Present Moment Workshop and also completed multiple 6 week long stress and anxiety relief yoga programs. introduced running into my life and there began my love affair with it. totally fell in love with raw foods. after years of experimentation (what makes me feel sick, what doesn't, what helps ease my anxiety) i found my freedom in raw foodism. i was met with stares and gawking about it, but i kept pushing through.

sept 2009: went to europe for the first time! only needed to take some stomach soothing meds every once and awhile and conquered two nine hour flights, packed out trains, travel confusion and running around different countries with no sweat! had the best time and made memories that will last me a lifetime. discovered a deep passion and love for traveling. anxiety didn't stop me once! and took home my first piece of prada.

oct 2009: celebrated my 2 year wedding anniversary with the best hubby ever. signed up for 5k. booked a trip to new orleans for the new year. was asked to be a bridesmaid!

nov 2009: by far, my busiest month. ran my first 5k with my pup. went to a wonderful anusara workshop. threw a baby shower. celebrated thanksgiving with my family. officially consider myself 50% raw foodie. started volunteering at Last Hope. immediately fell in love with every dog in there.

dec 2009: ran my 2nd 5k with the hubby. officially obtained full time teaching status. began helping promote D&R Krishna Das fundraiser. BECAME AN AUNT! got my 2nd piece of prada. a new laptop! started taking bikram yoga classes. this was a huge mind trip for me as it exposes my anxieties. i get very anxious when i feel trapped or stuck. i also get anxious about having to go to the bathroom or become ill in front of people or in public. enter bikram. i was told once i enter the studio i cannot leave (gulp), if the heat makes you feel ill just sit it out until you feel better (double gulp at the thought of passing out in front of the class) and drink gallons and gallons of water but don't leave the class to use the facilities (ok, i'm nearing my limit). but i did it anyway. i drank the tons 'o water, i stayed put in the studio and focused all my energies on my poses rather than the fact that the heat could make me pass out. it was like a torture chamber for my mind. now i know i'm making this sound as appealing as a lobotomy, but.... i left feeling empowered. i conquered something that exposed all my anxiety weaknesses. i felt stripped down and scared, but i did it and i succeeded. and i went back for more! out of all the yoga classes i've taken and all the studios i've gone to, bikram was the first one i committed to. that says something. i wouldn't go as far to say i'm a devotee at this stage, but i'm sure as hell loving the adventure of it. there's something transformative about being in that kind of situation. i'm sure i'm over thinking it a bit because i'm coming at it from such a different mind set, but that's what makes it all the more powerful for me. so i discovered a lust for bikram yoga.

so there you have it. my life in 2009. i feel transformed and different. and i hope 2010 brings just as much transformation and growth. i reconnected with old friends, made new ones, lost some. after all the styles of yoga i've tried i became enamored with bikram as it touches me on so many different levels. i got two 5ks under my belt and am looking forward to training for a half next jan. discovered the power and beauty of raw, living foods. fell in love with my beautiful baby nephew and saw how rock star my sister-in-law was with her natural birth! deepened my relationship with my hubby. began to devote some of my time to volunteering to a cause i care about. grew my classes and clients and my ability to share anxiety relief with others.

i'm a lucky girl.
i'm a thankful girl.