From Anxiety to Zen

rejuvenation motivation

2010-11-06T10:00:00.001-04:00

i love reading about what others do to relax and renew. it always leaves me inspired and gives me great ideas for things i can do for myself. so in honor of all of those bloggies out there dedicated to self-nurturing, i thought i'd share some of the things i did to recharge and bliss out during my 'time out'

* put cell in bedroom at 8pm every night and refused to check it until after i'd enjoyed breakfast the next morning

* took time to notice the changing leaves, colors and weather during walks with the pup -this was an overall theme... i slowed down. and i'm always amazed how much more i appreciate everything in my life when i actually take the time to notice and pay attention to it

* treated myself to daily mugs of green tea and Emergen-C

* spent hours browsing fun recipes and trying my hand at new dinners and treats for the hubby and i

* cleaned the casa and de-cluttered

* enjoyed numerous hours catching up on inspirational, self-caring and beautiful blogs (i even found more i love!)

* looked up fun things to do while in st.lucia - kayaking, yoga, pilates, salsa dancing... so excited!!

* grabbed some books i had abandoned and started them again

* steaming hot baths

* glasses of vino

* morning ashtanga

* running -half marathon training

*planned more fun hubby birthday things

* found some small races and yoga workshops to sign up for so i have something to continuously look forward to

this practice in self care has left me rejuvenated. i've practically inhaled my weights worth of green smoothies, i've taken time to make some fun plans, indulge in yoga at home (something that i don't do much because i'm usually practicing at the gym or studios) and catch up on some movies (thanks, netflix!) i am still incorporating a lot of these daily because we all deserve a simple luxury or two everyday. and luxury doesn't have to come in the form of a new car or $10k price tag... just reading the paper with coffee and doing nothing for a few hours on a random weekend morning can be deliriously luxurious.

ahhhhhhhhhhhh

do you have a self care routine or something you go to when you need a recharge?

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november dreams and indulgences

2010-11-05T12:30:00.001-04:00

it's a new month and you know what that means! a new page in my journal dedicated to monthly goals and treats. it's a packed month and i'm so excited it's finally here.

november dreams + indulgences

* weekend getaway out east with awesome friends
* hubby's big birthday celebration in st. lucia
* yoga, hiking, spinning, kayaking, paddleboarding, beach lounging and daily massages in st. lucia
* meeting up for lunch with a friend from cali i haven't seen in months
* thanksgiving!
* adopting a turkey
* co-hosting a vegan thanksgiving dinner with friends
* more half marathon training
* more focus on ashtanga practice
* another hubby birthday celebration at a thai restaurant
* belated anniversary dinner for hubby and i with my parents

what are your november dreams/goals/aspirations?

techie time out

2010-11-04T14:19:00.002-04:00

every now and then i tune out of technology. i don't blog a lot, or comment on other blogs, or even tweet or facebook much. these time outs are something i brought into my life when i see myself becoming a little too dependent on them ::insert blushing, embarrassed emoticon here::

i realized about two weeks ago that i was getting caught up in too much online and TV time, so i put myself on a time-out and re-energized myself. when things get hectic, my running and yoga-ing and reading and meditating tends to fall a bit to the wayside -oops!- and my "turn on the TV and zone out for a couple of hours" becomes my routine. so, after much introspection and reflection, i've come back to play!

and here's my question of the day: why do you yoga?

i was asked what the benefits of yoga are the other day in class. it was a young girl, in her teens, that was super new to yoga and expressed confusion as to why someone really practices yoga. i prefaced my response by telling her she was going to get a seriously abridged version -otherwise i'd still be answering her question on her thirtieth birthday- and i told her people practice for very unique reasons.

for example, i came to yoga purely for the emotional aspect of it. i was seeking relief from a painful and life-consuming anxiety disorder and was craving the emotional release. some people adore the physical aspect of the practice and thrive on rockin' out a power vinyasa. my practice has recently evolved into the Ashtanga primary series as i now seek some of my yoga practice to complement my running and keep my body fit, toned and healthy. i also expressed how some people love bhakti yoga and kirtan and really connect to the spiritual side. i am not a religious person by any means, but yoga has brought me more into a spiritual connection that i didn't think i had within myself.

so, as you can see (at this point her eyes were glazing over) people practice for the physical aspect, the spiritual connection, the emotional release, the fun, the structure, the relaxation... its limitless! and it is always changing. as my life changes, so do the things i need out of my practice.

so why do you practice your yoga? is it the same reason you started practicing? how has your reason for practice changed during your life?

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Life List

2010-10-14T15:43:00.000-04:00

a fabulous fellow yogini commented about my Life List and suggested sharing more of it with you. as i love hearing from you guys- i was more than happy to share some more snippets of it

in no particular order...

Bonnie's Life List ... so far

1- explore every place i visit by going for a run (would love my sneakers to touch at least 2 foreign places before getting a new pair!)

2- sipping wine in a hot air balloon

3- take a volunteer vacation to someplace i wouldn't normally travel to

4- learn a language - would love it to be french!

5- take a raw foods and vegan cooking class

6- open a yoga studio

7- begin to host Present Moment workshops in other states

8- write a book (this is a BIG one for me!)

9- run the San Diego Rock 'n Roll marathon

10- drink wine and snack on cheese in Paris

11- live in Paris for a few months, possibly have an apartment there to travel to whenever i want

12- renew my vows with my husband in some exotic location on the beach for our 5yr anniversary

13- meet the President

14- get pilots license

15- go skiing in Switzerland

16- pray in India

17- create/work on a documentary exploring anxiety and holistic health /healthcare

18- create a non-prof focused on helping people dealing with anxiety, OCD, hoarding, self mutilation, depression, etc.

19- learn to dance -ballroom and hip hop and swing

20- learn to surf in Australia

21- own my own company (or yoga studio) and have hubby quit his job and work with me

some of these i've already done and some i hope to do really soon! i'd also LOVE to take a girls trip up to kripalu annually or host my own yogini retreat one day... ahh, so many dreams, so little time!

what are some things on your life list?

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take a challenge

2010-10-11T18:04:00.001-04:00

i've been totally engulfed in everyone's recap of the 10.10.10 chicago marathon. i follow many bloggers and have read a lot of their journeys.... to some of them being marathon veterans to others losing their marathon virginity! and it's been so exciting! i love hearing their accomplishments, listening to them talk about struggles and how they overcome them and getting inspired by their dedication. i adore running. but i'm terrible at it! and i think that's why i'm so drawn to it. i truly do believe it's important to do things you aren't naturally good at or talented at because it promotes a lot of growth. especially for someone like me that used to be a perfectionist and wouldn't even try something if i didn't think i could automatically master it.

and we practice this intention a lot in my yoga classes. i always encourage students to try new poses and experience new sensations as they practice. i often remind them that no one cares if they fall out of a balance or topple out of crow. i've done it myself a couple hundred times! and i used to think nothing was worse than if i was teaching a balancing sequence and i just couldn't stick it. here i was, teaching the poses, trying to show them how to breathe and move, and i would lose my footing or wobble over... but you know what i say now? i'm human! i have my good days and my bad days and so will they! it's nothing to be ashamed of or to not try or to get frustrated about!

so to all those inspirational marathoners - CONGRATS on a great journey and adventure! what an accomplishment! you've inspired me to continue on my running journey and let it take me where it will.

a marathon is something on my Life List.

what are some aspirations and/or goals you have? who encourages you to stay dedicated? how do you find ways to stick with challenges?

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Let it Go

2010-10-07T10:59:00.001-04:00

after our big sunday running excursion, the hubby and i were feeling pretty tight. i took to my yoga mat and got my stretch on and felt much better after about 30 minutes of hip openers and backbends. hubby was feeling a bit jealous so he actually asked me to show him a pose to help him loosen up his sore legs. i guided him into pigeon and quickly saw resistance in his body. being the awesome wife that i am, i pressed my hands into his lower back to draw him deeper into the pose. his whole body shook, he pushed back against my hands and said "that's it, i'm done!" i thought about his experience for a moment. during yoga classes, i often help guide students deeper into their asana practice with gentle adjustments, but here was a true beginner that was very resistant and not used to moving his body this way. my hubby comes more from the school of "muscle through it" then soften and i realized he's really not the only one. how many times does ego get in the way and we push through a pose that we know is uncomfortable for our bodies or we so desperately try to get into a certain pose that we lose all sense of alignment just for the sake of reaching our hands behind our backs or balancing on our palms?

so this week, i've dedicated all my classes to the intention of surrender. and not the kind of surrender that means just giving up and throwing in the towel. the surrender that comes with softening the body, accepting the pose and releasing into it with no expectations or force.

here are some of the poses we've focused on during class

high lunge

natarajasana (dancer pose)

plank into chatarunga

vasisthasana (side plank)

eka pada rajakapotasana (1 leg king pigeon)

*we added a forward bend to this

we also did a lot of moving core work and downward dogs.

the entire time, we focused on creating calmness and softness within each asana. we used our breath to guide us deeper into our hip openers, to give us grounding in our balances and strength in our plank work.

when you feel as though you are struggling or muscling through a pose, smile, bring peace to your face and focus on softening throughout your entire body. trust that you will move into the pose without having to push against it.

i try to set intentions at the beginning of each class. so this week we set the intention to surrender. let go. whether its a demanding asana or a fight with a friend or a looming work project, don't worry about forcing a conclusion. trust the process and learn to let go. sometimes letting go is the most powerful thing we can do for ourselves.

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back to basics

2010-10-06T16:21:00.000-04:00

happy wednesday! it's the middle of the week - almost the weekend! i've been off on my days all week. yesterday was mine and hubby's anniversary and we celebrated by going out to this little italian restaurant we adore. i kept mentioning how i couldn't believe it was only monday - hubby was like "hello, how strong is that drink??" i absolutely had to have a french martini last night. what can i say? i'm a martini yogini. it's kind of cool to feel a day behind. it means my weekend will get here even faster!

i've been going back to basics lately with food, exercise, yoga and life. over the weekend, i laced up my running sneakers and headed out with the hubs. we did a quick mile and it felt great. i had a short lived love affair with running last year but the brutally cold winter kept me indoors and once summer hit my schedule went haywire and i didn't make much time to fit in the miles. this cooler, fall weather is just begging me to get out there and who am i to ignore mother nature? we had a blast and my love for running returned hardcore. i'm signing myself up for a local 5k event that's hosted in december. yes, it's always crazy cold, but the race's claim to fame is the hot chocolate awaiting you at the finish line.
score.
'nuff said.
so back to basic race training. and i'm pretty thrilled.

i've also been relishing in my home practice. i've taken it back to basics with my asana and pranayama and am practicing with more of a beginner's mind. i tend to want to always push ahead in my practice and get all sweaty in a vinyasa, but sometimes restorative and yin yoga just rock my world and i need to honor that slowness and deepness of practice. i'm exploring my practice from the inside out and taking my time.
i've also been busting butt in the kitchen lately. making super simple raw or vegan meals and making sure the hubs and i are nourished with whole foods that fuel us. he's been loving it and i'm finding it really fun to just discover new recipes and get busy baking. i haven't made the same meal twice in close to 3 weeks and i'm finding a love for things i never thought i would. white button mushrooms, butternut squash 'fries' and kale salads... nom nom nom.

vegan black bean burgers were on the dinner menu on monday. i made extra and have since crumbled one up over a kale salad.

i just finished a small batch of vegan pumpkin scones. my entire apartment smells like fall. um, how freakin' awesome! who needs candles when you have a stove and some organic canned pumpkin? these puppies are for after dinner tonight with some warmed cinnamon vanilla almond milk.

and hopefully i'll be enjoying that decadent treat in bed next to these

anniversary flowers from hubby!

and this

because who doesn't love to have a slumbering puggle next to their bed?

and if he's in his bed, that means i get my bed all to myself!

well.. at least until the hubby comes in.

have you ever felt the need to just take it down a notch and switch things up by going back to old routines, hobbies or practices? do you find peace in returning to basics? or do you thrive on pushing to the next level?

manic monday? not so much

2010-10-04T15:07:00.000-04:00

its a gray day today... full of chills and cold drizzle and whipping winds. it's the kind of day you want to bury your head under your comforter and throw your alarm clock across the room.

my weekend was pretty terrific. it wasn't too busy, which i love, and i got to fit in everything i wanted to. friday night a friend and i hit up a 2 hour zumba-fest. so fun! we were sweating like crazy and it felt good to crawl into bed that night. i had to get up early, like usual, for my saturday AM class, and felt great. i taught my power yoga class and the hubby and i stayed in and celebrated (early!) our anniversary. it is actually tomorrow, but hey, you can never have too many celebrations, right? i tend to milk events for everything they're worth ;)

the party wasn't quite this rockin, but we still had a total blast!

the weekend definitely brought the cooler weather in - fast and furious- so hubby and i decided to head out for a run sunday morning. that's one of the {very} few things i enjoy about cooler weather - outdoor workouts! some plans fell through and i was left with little else to do but watch 6 full hours of football. for some, this may seem torturous, but for me it was heaven. i didn't leave my hooded sweatshirt or flannel PJ pants for nothin! i stay curled on the couch and we wound up ordering in because i've been a fiend in the kitchen lately! i'm kinda patting myself on the back for that one ha!

i had a bit of anxiousness friday before the zumba-fest because my stomach was acting slightly violent to me throughout the day. i was concerned and thought about cancelling, but i really wanted to do this. and i really wanted to see my friend. and i really wasn't going to let the nerves call the shots. i was still a bit queasy on the drive there, but i loosened up and really enjoyed the workout. and i (tried) to rock the dance moves like i was a seasoned pro! no stomach aches, no issues. score.

have you ever cancelled plans or skipped out on something because your anxiety "might" make you sick or "might" act up and you didn't want to take a chance?

i used to do that all the time! its funny how we tend to anticipate the worst, and things rarely turn out to be as scary as we imagine.

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time to make the yoga

2010-09-29T08:54:00.000-04:00

good morning and happy, happy wednesday!

i already can't wait for tonight because its SURVIVOR night! any other survivor crazies still out there? i'm actually not digging the wednesday night transition, but hey, it's still on... 20 seasons later. lesson learned from being a survivor junkie: go with the flow. or maybe i learned that on the yoga mat... hmm ;)

i have an afternoon yoga sesh to teach and then a PM one. the middle of the day is dedicated to a veggie store run because i'm in desperate need of some veg and then little errand running. my amazing vegan friend who always knows how to make me smile surprised me this weekend by buying me a frozen pizza... but not just any frozen pizza.... a vegan one! it looks beyond delish and i can't wait to crack it open tonight along with the ginormous salad i'm gonna make. my body is needing more salad in its life. and it's all about balance. want a vegan cheesy pizza? sure! just make a salad on the side. basket of bread with dinner? yum! just lay off the carbs on the entree. it keeps for a happy belly and therefore a happy bonnie.

POSE I'M DIGGING THIS WEEK:
shoulder stand

why i'm lovin' it

rainy day ramblings

2010-09-28T15:56:00.000-04:00

happy tuesday!
is your day as rainy as mine is?

i'm taking a quick break between work and classes. i've been feeling pretty good lately and i've noticed that i've been consistantly eating very well. i think it's very important to find out how food effects you and your body when it comes to anxiety. chugging coffee and scarfing junk food can sometimes cause us to experience symptoms similar to what we feel when we have anxious moments. and i'm human, every now and then i'll have "treat" foods, but i pay for them. but i've noticed this week that i've been really spot on when it comes to my diet. i've also finally gotten completely back to my workout routine and that's been amazing. i definitely take rest days, but sometimes i just gotta sweat!

some things that have been making me feel amazing:

protein smoothies!

raw pasta and shrimp primavera

raw spaghetti and meatballs - score! this was delish!

my workouts have been mostly yoga and spin, but i'm beyond excited to take a 2hr zumba party on friday night with my friend. Yes, this is how i spend my friday nights and YES i love it beyond measure!

and i've been focusing a lot on doing things that bring me peace and relaxation. lots of reading, movie watching and walks with my hubby.

i hope your week is off to a great start!

i'm off to finish up some work and get my yoga and spin on tonight.

time flies when you're... crazy busy!

2010-09-23T11:37:00.002-04:00

it's 11:30am and i kind of feel like it's closer to midnight. my alarm blasted my 4:30am wake up call way too early and i hit the ground running. i had to cut my early AM yoga classes down to one day a week and it's still painful, ha! i love the class, but i just can't seem to muster the enthusiasm to bounce outta bed the way i'd like to. i really used to think i was an early bird.

not so much.

so i walked the pup, fed the 4-legged crew, showered, dressed and found my way out the door and on my way to class. after teaching i decided an impromptu trip to TJs (trader joes) was in order and did some food shopping at 8:30 in the morning. i spent about 20 mins chatting up the cashier about my adventures in bikram yoga and appreciation for Zico coconut water before packing up my car and heading home. after trekking my groceries up my apartment stairs i whipped up the fabulous fitnessista's breakfast cookie dough cereal and chased it with a glorious cup of coffee. the caffeine jolt got me back up and running and i scrubbed my entire apartment down. there was some serious cleaning going on.

breakfast cookie cereal = DELISH!

so naturally i'm now propped up on the couch, catching up on all my bloggies and thinking about lunch before i take a walk with the pup. its actually pretty warm outside for FALL. can't believe it! summer flew! so i figure i should take advantage.

oh, and there's definitely some yin yoga fabulousness in my very near future!

it's almost the weekend - and you know what that means! teaching one of my fave classes, taking my favorite spin class -possibly ever- hang out time with the boy, vegan BBQ, football (WOOT WOOT), brunch and vegan hotwings.

note: not necessarily in that order ;)

september, thy intention is compassion

2010-09-22T16:59:00.001-04:00

i was really excited to find an opening in my schedule to take a yoga class at one of the studios i teach at. i try to fit in studio practices whenever i can and had not been able to make this one in a long time. so i ran, not walked, to the studio happily toting my hot pink mat. before practice started, the teacher guided us through a mini-meditation that focused on loving and caring for yourself. she explained how september is a time for transition - everything from toddlers going to school for the first time to fall making an appearance - and during these times we need to pay special attention to how our minds and bodies react. she encouraged us to go deep inside our ourselves and sit with our intentions and feelings. i had a lot going on in there, let me tell you! i never realized how transitional this time truly is. and its more than just my practice. i have a lot changing around me... classes and schedule changes, being in between traveling, big birthday for the hubby coming up, among other things.

so let's all make a pact with ourselves to honor this time of change.

how can we do this?

*journal our feelings and experiences to create awareness

*know when to take savasana instead of sun salutations

*plan one personal indulgence a week - a bath, a movie in bed, a glass of wine with friends or catching up on some reading at starbucks

*mani/pedi

*solo drive

*meditate on the intention of compassion

* or if you can swing it, a weekend jaunt to someplace fun

what are some things you do to take care of yourself and show a lil love?

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from paris, with love

2010-09-20T13:32:00.000-04:00

after coming home, i was desperately aching to find ways to incorporate things from our jaunt to europe into our everyday lives. have you ever noticed you sometimes become a different person when you are away? maybe you party more, or spend your time enjoying museums or maybe you just spend time getting lost around new city streets and wander into cafes and read tons of books... whatever you spend your time doing, it's sometimes different than how we find ourselves living day to day. so i wanted to see if i could take some lessons from paris and amsterdam and really focus on bringing them into my daily life (why should these daily indulgences be saved just for vacations!? i'm also a big fan of using the "fancy" dishes for weeknight dinners and getting decked out to go on a coffee run. why save all the good stuff, you know??)

so here's some take aways i'm currently including in my life:
1) writing more, whether blogging or journaling or even -dare i say it- outlining book ideas
2) sipping herbal tea and reading before bed
3) making dinner an experience and not a chore, really putting love and appreciation into it. just because we're not dining out doesn't mean we have to eat every night on tray tables with our faces buried in work or TV
4) walking more
5) being spontaneous! this one has been fun! hubby has a 'surprise' date lined up for us friday night, a night that's usually spent crashing out on the couch after my yoga class and his work
6) shaking up the routine. our usual sunday mornings lazy-ing around have started to include brunches and park trips
7) allowing ample time in my day to just be. not overscheduling myself or getting lost in a sea of emails, phone calls and errands

what are some things you can bring into your daily life to make it more indulgent? what's something you can do to shake up your routine that you normally wouldn't find yourself doing?

bonjour reality

2010-09-15T16:18:00.000-04:00

its a good thing i totally love my classes, students, friends, family and apartment because coming back to reality after 8 days of adventuring around europe ain't easy!

add to the fact that i finally saw Paris (my 'magic' place) and you have a sure-fire way to bring about tears and resistance when boarding the final flight home.

i'm not gonna lie, i seriously was contemplating how my husband and i could arrange a parisian change of address. but being back is feeling pretty good and the transistion back to the hustle and bustle hasn't been too painful.

i hope everyone had a great labor day weekend. for those of us in NY, i heard that hurricane didn't do too much damage. my pup was in Doggie Camp while we were away right where the heart of the storm was supposed to hit, so many check-in phone calls were made. whether they have two legs or four, they are still your babies! {and yes, i'm a little obsessive about my puggle}

even though i had good intentions, i didn't quite get to spend as much time yoga-ing as i would've liked to (read: none at all) so i was a bit stiff when i finally did return to the mat monday night. it felt glorious to be back in action and my body is already thanking me.

while i was away some exciting things happened: i was promoted at one of my gyms and lots of classes have been popping up for me to teach so i'm looking forward to adding these new things into my life. i hope the start of fall is bringing you many exciting new things... even though i'm not in school anymore, there's just something about fall that begs to bring about change.

love me some fall.

source

bonjour vacation!

2010-09-02T10:48:00.000-04:00

august was an insane month. half the time it kind of left me wanting to pull the covers over my head and not be disturbed until december. i was all over the place with work commitments, personal commitments, weddings, funerals, family visits... you name it, we had it. but all of that is in the past now as we welcome in september! i know lots of people are looking forward to the fall, falling leaves, fireplaces, halloween, apple cider and pumpkin picking. i'm especially excited because for me september brings paris. hubby and i are flying into paris tomorrow, spending a few days eating, sipping wine and shopping and than catching a train to amsterdam where we'll browse museums and spend endless amounts of time just walking around and enjoying the time together sans responsibilities. it's nice to get away now and then, and after a hectic summer, its even more eagerly anticipated.

things i'm looking forward to for this month:
*gallivanting around paris and amsterdam
*french yoga
*wine and cheese
*a full week of nothing to worry about, think about or plan out
*perhaps a quick trip out east to celebrate the arrival of fall
*cooler weather = more opportunities to go for a run
*leaves changing color

what is september bringing for you?

so i'll see you in a couple of days! ... unless of course we fall in love with it there and apply for a change of address

we interrupt the previously scheduled blog to bring you this...

2010-08-18T12:00:00.001-04:00

i'm still compiling stress-less sequences for you -some pulled from work i do with my classes+clients- however, i came across this tranquility list from the beautiful and inspiring kimberly wilson and wanted to share it with you.

wanna infuse tranquility into your everyday life? here's some tips from the queen of serene:

~live simply~

~read great women writers~

~spend less than you make~

~give back~

~travel~

~do work that you are passionate about~

~take time outs~

~exercise your body + mind daily~

~respond vs react~

~eat + drink nourishing yumminess~

~create daily~

~let your life be an artistic expression~

~make everything you do an experience~

here's the rest of her blog

do you practice any of these tranquil tips?
i find myself focusing on the 'make everything an experience' and 'respond vs. react' right now. i kind of relate the experience one to staying present and indulging in the moment.

Readers Request Part Two: Asana Sequences for Less Stress

2010-08-17T12:31:00.000-04:00

here's a great sequence to start your day with if you're feeling anxious or have something coming up that's causing you some stress. allow your twists to ring out tension your body is holding and shoulder openers to deepen your breath and open your heart.

warm up
*start with a few alternating deep shoulder rolls
*interlace your fingers behind your back, fold forward over the legs and stretch the hands to the sky
*release the hands down to the mat while staying in your forward fold, stretch through the backs of the legs and allow the head to hang while visualizing your anxiety pouring out of your body

make your way down to your mat
~draw your legs to one side of your body, allow the opposite hand to come to the knee and wrap the other hand around your lower back to twist and open up the shoulders - Repeat on other side

~pull legs underneath you and release into child's pose. touch the big toes together, press the knees out to the side and slide the arms forward or backward as you lay your belly between the knees

~now stretch the arms out while keeping the forhead on the ground and lifting hips to the sky

~stretch the legs straight while keeping the forearms on the ground and focus on this deep shoulder opener

~come back to child's pose and than slide out onto your belly. bend your legs into your body, grab your feet and kick them into your hands to open up your back and shoulders- breathe deeply

~release back onto your belly and keep your feet in the air, rock them side to side to relax the back. then draw all the way down onto the belly flat on your mat. close your eyes and begin to breathe deeply into the belly, as if your in-breath will imprint your belly button into the mat. concentrate on this deep breathing and feeling the belly press into the mat. hold here for 8-10 breaths.

enjoy this quick, invigorating sequence to open up the shoulders, relieve stress and anxiety and help yourself relax a bit. the inversions bring a sense of calm so if that feels good, hang deeply in your standing forward bend and take time to enjoy your child's pose.

all images from yoga journal

always consult a physician before starting a new exercise routine

stress less sequencing: part one

2010-08-13T08:56:00.000-04:00

i'm really excited to share this first stress-less sequence with you.

when most people start practicing with me to alleviate anxiety, they are surprised that i often start with breath work. pranayama is an integral part of one's practice and definitely a key component in our relaxation. i also really love it because its something you can do anywhere. its a technique that you can use if you're stressed at work, sitting in traffic or about to give a big speech to company execs.

now there's tons of ways to meditate and each one has beautiful benefits, but for the sake of keeping this technique simple, i'd like to share a breath meditation. i find this one powerful because when we are stressed we tend to have short, shallow chest breaths. these short breaths are no benefit to us and for those of us that deal with shortness of breath or gasping during panic attacks, long deep breaths can be a lifesaver. belly breathing is the way we should always be breathing... inhaling through our nose, filling our belly, ribcage and chest... then fully exhaling through the nose. making sure to take our time. if you just want to practice engaging in these full breaths, take a moment to slowly count the in-breath, then practice making the out-breath the same length. if you're feeling anxious, count the in-breath and make the out-breath double in length. so a four count in-breath would be an eight count out-breath.

here's a video demonstration to help you really start your practice:

don't feel obligated to master this over night - remember, there's no such thing as perfect! your mind will wander, you'll get bored, you'll get frustrated... its all natural. just use this beginning meditation as a way to tap into the breath and allow belly breaths to be a natural part of you. this may feel weird in the beginning to breathe so slowly, or you may panic feeling like you're not getting enough air. just go at your own pace and experiment. start slow, like she says, for 1 to 3 minutes a day and work up as you see fit.

since i don't always find time to sit in meditation, i've found success at making it a ritual. it becomes a habit and something i look forward to. i do my mini-meditations before every yoga practice for 5 minutes with my classes and i do another one before bed to release my day.

other people love meditating in the morning and i have one student that always sits in meditation rather than savasana at the end of our sessions.

**another tip: if you're unsure of how to breathe into the belly, take a minute to lay down flat on the floor or on your mat. put a light book on top of your belly. focus on using your inhales to lift your belly so that the book rises. then on your exhales, pull the belly in to help push the air out and watch the book soften back down. one you get the feeling of belly breathing, you can take it to a sitting position.

and to share a personal story with you, these deep breathing techniques were one of the most important parts of me eliminating my panic attacks. i noticed when i started to panic, my breath became short and rapid and launched me into a full attack. this awareness helped me keep my breath from becoming like that when i got really nervous and that kept my panic attacks away. i'm not saying this works like this for everyone, but for me personally, pranayama has been a crucial step in my healing journey. it helps me keep my mind clear and my body calm. its hard for the body to launch into panic when the breath makes it feel calm and relaxed.

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now taking requests!

2010-08-11T13:47:00.000-04:00

i am currently working on Anxiety to Zen's first reader request! it'll be broken down into segments and will focus on actual poses and sequences to rock out when you're feeling anxious or stressed - stay tuned!

and in the meantime, if there's any other requests out there, send 'em my way! would love to start introducing this more into the blog.

another celebration weekend down!

2010-08-08T18:11:00.001-04:00

i don't know about you - but my summer 2010 is INSANE! between weddings, showers, parties, family functions, birthdays and graduations i've been quite the busy chick. and for those that live with anxiety, celebrations -while a happy occasion- can definitely bring on the stress! so this weekend, a friend of mine had a joint bachelor/ette party in atlantic city. this absolutely brought out the stress for me. it put me face to face with old school stressors - long car rides, traffic, food, big crowds of people, no room of our own of place to go if i got sick... all my triggers coming out to play, and yet i never contemplated not going

so yeah, the days leading up to this event i was nervous, but i practiced everything that makes me feel better and made sure to set myself up for success.

here's some things i did to help ease any potential stress:

1) i told my friend how i was feeling. i was extremely open that these things used to cause me to run away screaming, but i was still gonna go and just kinda play it by ear. i explained everything that caused me to get anxious to her and felt better knowing that it was out there and if i was indeed anxious, she'd already be aware of what was going on and everything would be cool. i wouldn't have to push through it and fake it. took a ton of weight off my shoulders!

2) did yoga, exercised and ate clean the week before to make sure i was physically feeling great. avoided food i know would sit heavy, cause stomach pain or jitters.

3) made fun playlists to get me in 'roadtrip' mode

4) asked my husband to be my support. i told him i may need time to vent, or talk it out, until i got the stress outta my system. he totally understood and was always there to lend an ear if i had a concern, or just wanted to logically talk myself out of a fear or negative thought.

In a nutshell, we sat in HOURS of traffic, i was faced with food options i didn't choose and i was thrown some other curveballs - but i never panicked. no worry. no fear. no "oh my god i feel sick moments." no stomach aches or pains. nothing. i was totally cool with everything handed my way.

and you know what? it felt good.

hear me roar!

and yes, i was a little anxious. i'll always have things that'll make me anxious. but i faced the challenge head on, did everything i could within my power to set me up for success and let go of trying to control the situation. this is what my friend chose, and i was going to be there. and it felt amazing to feel so strong doing something that used to cripple me with fear.

i wanted to share this with you guys, because its important to use these milestones to keep in mind how far we come. and even if you're not at the point yet where you feel you can completely conquer your fear and anxiety, you can always make small steps of success.

and i live by my husband's MO of "enjoy the little things"

so enjoy any milestone you have! let's keep celebrating them together!

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exciting day in the blogosphere!

2010-08-05T13:29:00.000-04:00

two amazing women have given me the opportunity to share my story with their readers. i was so honored to be included in their beautiful work and i'd like to share it all with you guys too!

so check it out!
Naturally Nina

and

Green Junkie Living

if you're not already an avid reader of Nina or Olivia, you guys are in for such a treat! i love connecting with amazing people!

slow and steady works for me

2010-08-04T09:15:00.000-04:00

i was super excited to see a friend a hadn't seen in months this past weekend. she's a killer hostest and always welcomes my pup (aka the 4-legged love of my life) over with me. she's one of those people i can tell anything to and, like it or not, i'm gonna get back brutal honesty. she's known about my struggles with anxiety since way back when and has always been a supportive structure in my life. so since we hadn't connected in awhile, we had much catching up to do and something she was very interested in was seeing how i was doing with my anxiety.

i lit up and told her i'd been panic attack free for almost 2 years, symptom free (pounding heart, shortness of breath, blurred vision, etc) and i was officially living it up in ways i was previously scared to (two amazing trips booked for the fall!). she was impressed and proud and asked me "so you never even feel anxious anymore?" -insert sound of screeching brakes-

i responded that i absolutely still get anxious, its an emotion. i can't turn it off any more than i could turn off happiness or sadness. what i did turn off is the crippling fear from it. yeah, i get anxious, but it no longer holds me back or escalates into life altering fear. and you guys know how i always share that i still sometimes get anxious in the mornings? well, i've never quit my early classes or turned down early sessions with clients due to the chance i could feel anxious. i used to RUN from whatever caused me even a hint of anxiety. she looked at my quizzically and said "so you're pretty much in the same place you always were with this."

um NO

definitely not

it took me close to 10 years to develop that level of anxiety, the panic attacks, the loop of negative thoughts, the fear, the insecurity....

my healing journey is not one that happens at the flip of a switch! no one's journey is. we can't change overnight... at least, not a lasting change. it takes time to learn what works for us, what helps us alleviate our anxiety, for us to practice overcoming things that scare us, talking and sharing our experiences, learning to meditate or change negative thoughts to positive... oh my gosh! there's no way this happens overnight.

and this got me thinking.. how many people doubt their journey if it doesn't happen in the blink of an eye? how many people give up because they feel they'll "never get it." it took me almost a month before i could work through a panic attack and ward it off and many more months to stop being scared that one could "happen at any moment." we get used to thinking a certain way and dreading certain things, so we have to restructure our entire thought processes and perceptions. and we're not used to doing it. it shocked me that my friend interpreted slow and steady progress, for no progress.

so don't get frustrated if your journey is slower than you'd like it to be or different from someone else's. you are working on making positive, powerful and lasting changes in your life! please stick with it! find your outlets, track negative thoughts, practice positive ones and know that each step along the way is one to be celebrated! and above all else, don't let someone else's perceptions of your journey alter your own perceptions.

branching out

2010-07-29T16:43:00.000-04:00

i know i share a lot about yoga and anxiety, but i'd like to open up the forum a little and chat about yoga in general every now and then. and i'd also like to touch on how yoga is impacting me lately... and hearing how yoga's impacting you as well!

on a very happy, positive note i am being included in an interview series on people with holistic careers. i'll be working on that interview and will keep you posted on the details of when it goes up. i'll also be sharing a guest blog on... you guessed it! anxiety and yoga. it'll be on an amazing blog - which of course i'll link to when it goes up. its a blog that i adore and am excited to introduce you guys to it!

also, remember how i said i get anxious in the AMs? well, its still kind of happening. so rather than run in the other direction and bail on all early AM obligations and classes, i'm giving myself more of a challenge. there's a 7am ashtanga yoga class on sundays at one of my gyms and i'm planning on attending. an ass kicking, sweat-inducing yoga class first thing in the morning? if that doesn't chase the nerves away, i don't know what will!

anyway, i hope your thursday is treating you well. i'm off to do the yoga thang again - 2 classes - then home to feast on indian food with the hubby and catch the latest Futurama. love, love, love that show. oh, and there may or may not be a glass of vino awaiting me as well.

xoxo

the persuit of perfection can be harmful to your health

2010-07-27T14:30:00.000-04:00

i'm not super obsessive about being perfect. i'm meticulous, yes, but perfect... definitely not. i used to try a lot. i used to be very specific about how i wanted things and how i wanted to look and i needed to always have the right answers and solutions to problems. however, i would be hot in the persuit of perfection for about 10 minutes and then my attention span (which rivals that of a fruit fly) would switch to something new. so i guess i never became to perfectionistic due to my apparent lack of attention.

i know lots of people that suffer with the "P" word. and i do mean suffer. i see how they beat themselves up over a spelling mistake or wrong answer or "messing up a yoga pose." i see the sadness and frustration when they overwhelm themselves with decisions trying to find the absolute perfect one. and then once the decision is made, agonizing over whether it was the right choice. its something i see a lot because it's something that causes a lot of anxiety. and i see lots of anxiety.

if you're dealing with the dreaded P word and always trying to chase it down, take a minute to remember that it doesn't exist.

and since its always easier said than done because you can't change your thinking patterns at the snap of your fingers, try some other things too:

* ask yourself why you're seeking perfection. is it to impress a boss, your mother or significant other? are you afraid of others judging you? are you feeling insecure about something and trying to overcompensate by trying to be the best at it?

finding the sources of our thoughts or feelings helps us to not only understand them, but begin to change them.

* work out what the absolute worst case scenario would be if you didn't do 'it' perfectly. chances are its not as bad as you think.

employers don't expect you to know everything and you most likely won't get fired for making a mistake. or if you accidently burn the turkey, your whole thanksgiving won't be ruined and people won't starve and if you forget a birthday your friend probably won't disown or berate you - they're a friend!

* realize that the more you obsess over being perfect, the more anxious you'll become. mistakes are human nature and they are important for us to learn from. and most times, perfection goes above and beyond. if we don't reach "perfection" it doesn't mean we got it wrong or messed up.

when i used to write pitches for a PR company i wracked my brain trying to come up with the PERFECT combination of witty, clever, smart and interesting. more often than not, my boss had lots of tweaks on it that i revised. did it mean he hated my pitch or it was completely wrong? no. he usually used most of my writing, maybe just switched a paragraph around or added one more interesting factoid. just because it wasn't "perfect" didn't mean that my good wasn't good enough.

finding our edge

2010-07-20T10:00:00.001-04:00

an important thing that i focus on in yoga class is that sweet space between my comfort zone and my edge. it's easy to kind of relax into a pose when you feel comfortable in it and sometimes we even tend to favor the poses we're good at. when we're guided into another chaturanga or the teacher mentions headstand we tend to panic and wonder if its a good time to escape to the bathroom until the class moves onto the next sequence or asana.

i've so been guilty of this!

so i remind myself as often as my students to find the space between comfort and edge. you may find that you love down dog, but maybe you always come into the pose on your toes and with knees bent. you may settle into it comfortably and stay put until you move into the next pose. but what if you pushed through your heels and lengthened through the back of your knees to activate your hammies?

i used to take my down down with really low hips because i have tightness in my legs. a teacher of mine came behind me and stepped down on my heels. he then grabbed my waist and pulled my hips to the sky. my legs were shaking and my face flushed because i had never experienced down dog this way. i never actually tried to push deeper. whoa! i literally collapsed into a childs pose after, but it was the most amazing experience. i just got introduced to the space between comfort and edge.

when practicing we become very in tune with our bodies. this is what gives us the power to safely push past our comfort zone and reach to our edge. we can sink deeper into forward bends, softly into hip openers and find new ways to experience our fave asanas.

think about this the next time you step onto your mat. make it your mission to find that space. get to know it. visit it often. and take your practice and awareness to the next level.

my right to rituals

2010-07-19T17:55:00.001-04:00

it's no secret that i'm obsessed with reality shows. but my love for them moves beyond survivor and the amazing race. i can watch shows like Obsessed and Intervention for hours on end if allowed to do so. i guess partly because i can relate on some level and also because i support the fact that people are speaking out about addiction and panic disorder and OCD. its important for people to see what it's really like because a lot of times we feel misunderstood or scared to talk about it.

something that is very prominent with people that have OCD or anxiety is rituals. rituals offer a sense of comfort to a person. we feel a doom or gloom outcome is upon us and rituals, in our minds, help ward off that fear. when my anxiety got really bad, i became obsessive about accidentally setting my house on fire. i would check the stove, microwave, outlets, hair dryers - anything - for what felt like hours. i couldn't leave the house without knowing that i had sufficiently checked each plug and appliance at least 50 times. sometimes i would even write down that i checked everything or i would snap a pic of my stove with my cell so i could refer back to it if i became concerned that i hadn't checked the stove well enough. my husband even made me checklists to try and help. nothing worked. it was because the rituals of obsesssive checking helped alleviate the anxiety of "setting my house on fire" or what it really was... the fear of messing something up or leaving something unchecked and unattended or forgotten.

so i got to thinking... what if we became just as passionate about healthy rituals? with my stomach being a big issue for me -it's always the first thing affected by stress- i am obsessive about eating things that work well for me. here's some more i've recently brought into my life:
* meditating to calm my busy, hectic mind
* journaling to help keep my ideas organized and not stuck occupying my head all night
* working out daily in some way, shape or form in order to get out excess energy that could potentially build into anxiety
* green tea sipping to help keep healthy antioxidants in my body
* nightly power walks with my husband and pup - we catch up this way rather than while being half absorbed in a TV show or worse yet, working through the night
* time to tune out- i go in my bedroom, turn on my music and just chill with no phone, email, facebook or twitter

so not all rituals need to be negative or unhealthy. let's bring some into our lives that help make us feel better and be better everyday.

a shift in perception can change your world

2010-07-10T14:00:00.000-04:00

have you ever noticed how powerful it is to change your perception of a situation?

i've seen a powerful theme emerge in friends and clients - and that's a tendency to look on the dark side of life. and i've done it too. it's so easy to get caught up in the negative. have you ever tracked your negative thoughts? it's something i always suggest to people dealing with anxiety, immense stress or just feeling overwhelmed. we can have hundreds of negative thoughts a day! it can be as simple as waking up in the morning and your first thought is ugh, i so don't want to go to work today or something more extreme like hearing really bad news or getting down over a missed job opportunity.

i used to obsessively focus on anxious symptoms. if my stomach hurt, or my head was pounding, or my breath was quick i would immediately panic and 'just know' that any minute i was going to have a panic attack.

it ruled my life. i literally waited for the symptoms to occur. and when they didn't, i tortured myself waiting for them to surface... predicting that they would pop up at any moment.

something i just started doing in my classes (and feel that i'm really going to continue) is that after our practice, when everyone is peaceful in savasana, i ask them to take a moment to focus on how their practice has made them feel. whether your yoga leaves you energized, tranquil, chill or just clear headed, taking a moment to focus on how good you feel can feel totally foreign to some of us! every chance i get i take a mental inventory of how good i'm feeling - whether sore from a kick ass workout or relaxed after yoga or energized after teaching a heart pumping class - i wanna remember those feelings. i want to go to the good feelings more often so when something negative or unfortunate does pop up, i don't find myself dwelling on it.

try it out next time after you get your yoga on or right as you settle in for the night. think about 3 really good things you felt throughout the day or did. create awareness around the positive in your life. begin to focus on the good... and watch the negativity start to fade away. our attention to it will no longer fuel it.

3 things i appreciated today:

1) i taught a killer fun yoga class that left everyone drenched (including myself!)
2) rocked it through a spin class right after and pushed myself to the limit - i felt amazingly strong after
3) feeling totally relaxed and energized for a night out on the town with some friends

to fear or not to fear?

2010-07-01T15:45:00.001-04:00

i've been a little (eek!) MIA from the blogosphere due to life getting in the way...

source

but before heading out to teach a yoga class tonight i wanted to pop in and touch on the topic of fear

we all feel it. we all experience it. but it impacts us all differently.

i believe that my fear (and my refusal to face it head on) definitely increased my anxiety to unmanageable levels. it took losing a big chunk of my life to actually look my feelings dead in the eye and figure out what was up.

i admire people that find a thrill in facing their fears. i know some people that feel incredibly fulfilled by allowing their fears to test them. once we conquer what scares us, it's almost an invincible feeling.

so how do you deal with fears? do they cause you a lot of anxiety or do you thrive on facing the challenges they present? has a fear ever held you back from anything? has facing a fear ever left you empowered?

friday fun day

2010-06-18T12:05:00.000-04:00

hey hey! hope everyone's friday is off to a killer start!

i officially, for only a short while, have no classes on fridays. they will be starting up again soon, but for now i'm sans plans. i decided to take advantage of the time and i've spent my morning prepping playlists and sequuences for upcoming classes. i start my turbokick class in a week and a half and i also added a butt 'n gut class, which is basically just a lower body blast. i worked through what i want to do for that class and my legs were on fi-yah!

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i'm really pumped about all these upcoming classes! can't wait to make 'em ~~suffer~~ sweat!

today i wanted to also mention the topic of being reactive.

are you a reactive type of person or do you keep your words and emotions in control until you fully gauge a situation? i'm so reactive. i have so much trouble keeping my emotions under wraps. i grew up in a household where we pretty much always expressed how we felt and holding in emotions causes me to stress and i have to find ways to relieve the energy. i'm just used to being an open book. but that's not always the best thing. meditating has helped me slow down the reaction process a bit, but i still struggle with it. and sometimes being reactive about certain situations could upset someone and i'm always concerned about that. i hate being in that situation where i think it over and realized i over reacted. i need to practice being underwhelmed and i need to digest situations before jumping to -an emotional- conclusion.

how do you face things that come your way? do you react before thinking or are you pretty good at taking it all in before doing anything?

basic meditation practice tips

2010-06-16T09:00:00.004-04:00

happy wednesday!

i wanted to share some meditation techniques with you guys today because i took on Ah Meditation Challenge from patricia moreno and have actually seen a real impact in my life because of it. i was doubtful. i read the testimonies and life changing experiences, but i never really thought it would happen to me. but i felt compelled to give it a whirl... and much to my surprise, things that i've meditated for have been manifesting in my life. i've picked up a new mantra: when i meditate, i co-create

and man, have i been meditating.

i'm envisioning, i'm saying mantras, i'm manifesting and i'm meditating and i'm loving it.

so i wanted to share a basic meditation technique with you from the ever fabulous sadie nardini.

this meditation will bring you to the present moment and help relax an anxious, or overstressed, mind.

even just 5 minutes a day can have an impact.

and i'm gonna continue rockin' out my AH Meditation

enjoy your day! make it a good one!

and if you try out the meditation, let me know what you think!

or if you're an avid meditator, i'd love to hear your perspective as i'm still new at it.

hey lady, where've you been?

2010-06-15T11:03:00.000-04:00

it's been forever since i've had a chance to sit and hit up the blog. i've sporadically been popping in and checking in with some of the blogs i follow, but i've rarely even had a chance to comment. i promise i didn't fall off the face of the earth...

between an increased class load, work load and life load i've been running around like a chicken without it's head lately. between running from class to class, impromtu road trips and travel and odd and end projects i'm working on, i've been slacking in the blog department. sorry loves.

so i'm here now to fill you in. i can't disclose everything that's been happening, but the great news is that one big thing keeping me busy is my summer schedule! i have added at least 4 more classes per week to my schedule and some of those classes include spin and turbo kick. very pumped about these additions. i love to get my yoga on, but i also love to make people sweat! i have the urge to kick butt in class every now and then and these cardio classes definitely fulfill that need!

on an anxiety note, i'm happy to say that the traveling didn't throw me for a loop. car trips used to be a fate worse than death for me... but i happily made it through the entire quick trip and even managed to stay chill in the face of 2+ hours worth of NY traffic. definitely something i'm super proud of and these challenges continue to show me just how far i've come.

have you recently faced any triggers and remained calm, cool and collected throughout? i love noticing and experiencing these milestones because it reminds me to constantly keep striving for tranquility.

another fun thing i'm working on is lining up people for some fall/winter workshops as part of Discover +Recover fundraisers. I have a list of some pretty cool people and should we get them on board, i'll definitely keep you posted because if you're in the area you'll absolutely wanna check 'em out!

so what's the good word? what have i missed during my whirlwind of craziness?

happy weekend

2010-06-05T09:22:00.000-04:00

my weekend has been off to a great start despite a rough week. for some reason, my anxiety has been coming on pretty strong. i know i've been dealing with a lot, so my goal is to take one thing at a time. no sense worrying over everything because i don't have control over everything. i can only do what's in my power. in order to help myself along a bit, i'm amped up my workouts...

sweat much!

i kind of went a little nuts in my spin class tuesday night!

i've been doing more yoga at home... deep stretching and restorative, because restorative seems to be floating my boat a lot lately. i've been finding lots of comfort in checking in with my thoughts and feelings and practicing just sitting with them. i've also, as per a patricia moreno challenge, taken up a daily meditation.

the verdict? i'm LOVING it!

its very powerful to sit with yourself and just listen.

and its especially amazing when i'm feeling anxious because the first reaction to that is always "ah! get rid of it!" haha.

so i'm going to offer you the same challenge.

the next time you feel anxious, sit and close your eyes. rest your attention on your breath and just listen and tune into what's going on inside you. don't run from your feelings or judge them. you may be amazed at what you learn.

i know i've been! and when i do this, i'm not exerting energy trying to 'fight' the feelings. i find they go away in like 90 seconds max! fighting our anxieties and stresses actually brings 'em on stronger and it becomes a painful mental battle.

so i am happy to say that i've been feeling pretty good since yesterday. i had a heart to heart with one of my girlfriends about something that has been on my mind and causing me immense stress and she was so amazing about understanding. i've been meditating and yoga -ing and working out like nobody's business! i'm taking everything that's in my control and making it work for me and leaving the rest up to fate.

on another note:

i ordered some things from iherb.com the other day and am in loooooove! sun warrior protein powder is raw/vegan and i'm digging the chocolate. it's given me a lot more energy than other proteins i've tried and i notice a difference. its also a lot more filling. i also have been taking probiotics. i had lots of debate over this but everyone that took them swore by the power of them in helping keep a healthy tummy and regulating digestion. something that keeps my stomach feeling great? hell yeah! they are going very well so far and i haven't been taking enough to know how the impact is long term, but i'll report back in a few days.

have a fabulous weekend loves!

testing 1, 2, 3

2010-05-30T11:55:00.000-04:00

i was tested yesterday. and it was unlike any pop quiz or final exam i've ever taken. it was harder. it was one i couldn't prep for. and it was one i had to face. and it made me very anxious.

my dinner friday night didn't sit too well with me and i woke up with horrible stomach pains and felt terrible. enter: panic thoughts. anytime my stomach shows the slightest bit of queasiness, i head for the hills (i.e. my bed). i hate stomach aches more than anything else because it always puts me right back into panic mode remembering how i used to suffer with them daily and cause myself to get so upset i'd have a panic attack.

and when that's what we're used to, it's easy to fall victim to that train of thought.

so even now, two years later (completely panic attack free!), i still remember that feeling. i remember the fear of having to drive to work and sit at my desk all day feeling ill. i remember pushing myself through my days and hoping to just make it through hour by hour. and i remember being scared to death about having a panic attack in front of co-workers or my boss or while driving home... i still shudder just thinking about it.

so yesterday i was definitely tested. i was legitimately sick, but it still made me wonder if it was just anxiety. it was hard to de-tach the idea of being sick without the anxiety making me sick. i took a stomach soother and drank some water and began to feel a little better. what made me extra nervous though was that my day was jam packed. literally, from beginning to end. and i was already up at 5:30am feeling gross.

how was i going to get through this day? thoughts of cancelling everything crossed my mind. but i didn't want to bail on my classes. i had a lunch date with a girlfriend i had been looking forward to for days and i had some mini-errands that absolutely had to get done before heading out to another friend's apartment much later that night. eek! i was positively pale at the thought of it all. because when you feel sick or anxious, the last thing you wanna do is go out all day, right? but i knew i had to do it. and i wanted to. i was sick. and that was it. and i was determined to take it one thing at a time and see how i felt. i immediately realized my mind was racing 100 miles an hour, all with bad thoughts about getting sick in front of my class, or bailing last minute on my friend, or being miserable at my friend's place....

so i put up a big 'ol STOP SIGN on those thoughts. and i powered through my day.

and i had no problems.

yes, i was a little icky feeling, but was it the monumental crisis i made it out to be? no.
did i realize immediately that my mind was going crazy with "what ifs?" yes.
and did i take every measure to stop it and refuse to give in to an anxious feeling? hell yes!

so i'm glad to say i passed my test. i did every single thing i wanted to yesterday and put the "scary thoughts" way behind me. i'm feeling sooo much better today and i knew i would, because it's a new day and i can choose how to face it. and if i still felt kind of sick, then i'd cross that bridge when i got to it. i wasn't going to do what i used to do way back when and pre-cancel everything because there was a mere chance i wouldn't be feeling well.

i can face blood, guts and gore... but a stomach ache is my kryptonite - and i beat it!

we'll always be tested and we'll always face things we don't want to, but we have to know we can do it! even if it is a little scary. we are stronger than we think!!

Relax with... Reclined Bound Angle

2010-05-29T12:00:00.008-04:00

Benefits:

Physical: Opens hips, inner thighs, chest

Emotional: Relieves tension

Rx for: Menstrual cramps

1. Lie on your back, legs and arms straight, palms up.

2. Bend left knee and place foot on floor, then do the same with right knee and foot.

3. Lower knees away from each other toward floor, bring soles of feet together, sweep arms along floor until they’re overhead.

4. Hold for 5 to 10 breaths.

5. Bring knees upright, sweep arms back down toward sides of the body.

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almost the (long) weekend!

2010-05-28T15:02:00.000-04:00

happy friday! do you have a long weekend coming up? my gym and studio are closed monday so i'm off, baby, yeah! super excited! i love my job, but days off are pretty fun too!

yesterday was my birthday and i celebrated by teaching all day. literally, i was teaching since 7am! my students in my last class suprised me with wonderful gifts (one being a big bottle of kombucha!) and it really made my day. like i said, i love my job! and my classes and students are the best!

afterwards i went out to dinner with the hubby and enjoyed a martini.

this weekend is also jam packed, but i'm hoping to fit in some reading because one of the books i ordered arrived! it looks pretty cool, and i'm kinda a book geek, so it'll be nice to just curl up in bed and read until i lose track of time.

how is your memorial day weekend looking? anyone have time off or do you have work? any bbq's going on? i have one on monday with my parents to celebrate my birthday. we're bringing our puggle so he can play in the backyard while we hopefully enjoy some nice weather.

anyways, i heard a quote the other day that i thought was totally interesting and wanted to share. it comes from psychiatrist carl jung and he says something to the effect of "all mental illness is the result of our unwillingness to experience pain." i'm pretty sure that's the quote, but i didn't write it down. but i think you can get the idea from that.

it immediately got me thinking: could this be true? could my anxiety have been a result of me refusing to feel emotional sadness or pain for something? i had anxiety for a long time, but the problem was that i never labeled it as that. so i would really need to dig deep down and try to pull out memories of where and when it all started exactly to see what i was going through.

i definitely dealt with my share of stresses when i was younger, so maybe there is something to this idea.

but when you're going though it, it's hard to believe that all that stress and anxiety is just the result of you not wanting to deal with pain... because going through the anxiety causes pain.

i'm still wondering about this ... but it's definitely an interesting conclusion.

what do you guys think?

a world without fear and anxiety

2010-05-25T14:24:00.001-04:00

could you imagine?

i was recently asked "what would you do if you knew you couldn't fail?"

and this got me thinking - what would anyone do if they couldn't fail? or if they had no fear? or if anxiety didn't exist?

about 2 years ago, as my journey was starting, i made a list in a journal of mine of things i'd do if i had no anxiety. number one on my list was travel. i think run a race was on there and chase some dreams. every now and then i refer back to that list. i'm happy to say that a lot of those things are now happily crossed off.

and while it may not always be anxiety that holds us back, sometimes something does (whether fear or concern of not being perfect or getting it right).

so, if you had no fear, no worry about failure and no anxiety - What Would You Do?

me?
1) go surfing
2) a triatholon
3) move to a whole new place with no safety net of a job or friends or family

for each one the concern is different. surfing makes me anxious because you're just out in the ocean and can get knocked underwater at any moment and huge waves come at you.

a triatholon is on the list because i think i'm concerned about not being able to finish. not commiting to training hard enough, bailing half way through or just lagging behind everyone and barely making it to the finish.

and moving, well, that causes some fear of the unknown.

this list isn't just what i'd do if life were perfect and stress-free. this list is now one of goals. and they are powerful goals because each one isn't just something to cross off, it means i overcame something. all those things have a double meaning and impact for me.

on new years i made some intentions for myself and i'm going to add these things!

so? what does your list look like?

do we create our own paths?

2010-05-24T14:46:00.000-04:00

i ordered some books over the weekend and one in particular that caught my eye was a 30- day plan to create the life of your dreams. it got me so curious that i had to toss it in my amazon cart. 30 days to re-program your path? or create a whole new journey? interesting, no?

it begs me to wonder... do we have a journey already laid out for us and there really are no coincidences or are we destined to take the reigns and create our very own unique life path?

my life path has recently taken a slight detour and i find myself thinking about this a lot. am i in control of what i want and how to get it or am i supposed to sit back and let life unfold and trust that whatever happens is meant to happen and i'll eventually get to where i need to be?

this, as you can imagine, causes me some stress and anxiety. i enjoy having plans and goals. i like being able to "see my future" so to speak. but, best laid plans fell to the wayside and i'm left wondering if i'm supposed to change my entire future or if my plans were supposed to fall apart because i'm meant for something else.

what do you think? are we in control of our destiny or do we have a pre-determined path?

and if you think we already have a journey laid out for us, do you think we can change it if we don't like it? or do you subscribe to the belief that everything will always work out just as it's supposed to?

too quick to quit?

2010-05-23T10:39:00.002-04:00

for as far back as i can remember i was never really one to "tough it out" or "stick it through to the end."

i only made it through 2 days of soccer try outs in junior high and was on my high school lacrosse team for a whopping two weeks before ditching it in favor of more 'productive' things like hanging out with friends and watching TV. i played an instrument for years before buying my own and then parting ways with the band a month later. i bailed on honors classes i took half-way through the year and threw myself into activities i thought i'd love just to quit a few weeks later.

i definitely didn't have that stick with it drive.

so last summer when i became devoted to running my husband laughed and friends took bets as to how long the running love affair would last.

i banged out a couple 5ks and loved it. and while i was far from quick, i definitely enjoyed the journey. and that's what it's always been about for me. its not just about the end result because if you hate the journey you'll be miserable.

fast forward through a brutally cold winter (when the temp drops below 50 degrees i hibernate) and monsoon season, i finally laced up my kicks for a quick mile lap around my neighborhood. i have some big plans to run some races this summer (would LOVE to hit a 10k) and a Warrior Dash event in September to prep for so i was pysched. however, my legs weren't as thrilled. they felt heavy and sluggish. and i had to stop and walk for a minute or so. my hubby came with and tried to push me through it but i was annoyed at how much i back tracked, even though i do cardio pretty much every day.

when the run was over -almost 11 minutes later, eek!- i was ready to throw in the ~~sweaty running~~ towel.

i was feeling pretty lousy about my first "real" run since the winter hit, and then i had an ah-ha moment. it would be so easy for me to quit. it would be the simple solution. i'm not naturally good at running and originally started to do it for stress relief and adventure (and a way out of the gym sometimes!). but i was letting the time of the run, the soreness, every little thing get to me. i hadn't been out for a serious run in forever, so what did i expect. a sub 7minute mile? and just because i wasn't fabulous at this run, did it mean i had to stop it altogether?

see, here's the secret. most people strive for a PR (personal record) when they run, but i strive for a PM (present moment). when i'm running i'm NOWHERE else. i'm completely in the zone and totally present. i hear every beat of music, i feel every step. i'm aware of my legs and arms, even my fingertips. and that's powerful. i have no anxiety, no stress, no worries. it's my time. and i adore it.

so i'm gonna quit that because of one bad day?
well... yeah, almost!

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but i refused to give in. ok, so i had a sucky experience on that run. didn't mean it'd always happen. and it's time for me to change this "i can always quit" attitude. when things get tough, i need to get tougher. and that's what i did. this morning i laced my sneaks back up and headed out. i promised myself just one mile. just have fun like i used to and enjoy being present. and present i was! i didn't stop once. i felt my breath throughout my whole body. i felt the warmth on my shoulders and felt blood rush through my legs. i moved effortlessly to the music and by the time that mile was done i felt great. my hubby asked if i wanted my time and i said yes. because i was going to know my time and not judge it.

and guess what? i knocked a whole minute off that mile!

and for me, that's worth every minute out there.

so i'm holding fast to my goals of running more races and completing a 10k by the end of the year. i had a "bummer" moment and i made a choice. be miserable and sorry for myself or put on my big girl pants, get over it and get back out there. we can choose how we feel and how we live, and i made this choice because it makes me happy and i deserve it!

have you ever had a moment when you just wanted to quit or stop because things got tough? maybe when trying to get through an anxious moment you felt like it'd never stop or you'd never get a handle on it? maybe you quit a job or bailed on a class because it got difficult? do you run from challenges or to challenges?

i wanna meet 'em head on!

channeling martha stewart

2010-05-22T10:29:00.000-04:00

today is a gorgeous day in new york and i'm very excited to spend it with the hubby. my weekends vary so much because i'm often subbing classes or taking classes, but this weekend i have absolutely nothing concrete to do. the world is mine! at least for this weekend it is =)

on the agenda today is an INSANITY workout followed by a trip to the park with the pup and possibly checking out Iron Man 2.

i channeled my inner domestic diva and whipped up a batch of protein choco-chip banana muffins which are currently baking away (and smelling delish!) because i'm always looking for new ways to get easy, protein packed snacks into our diets. last week i made homemade protein coconut bars so i figured i'd switch it up a bit and when i found that recipe for the muffins i couldn't resist!

how are you spending your weekend? any fun plans? hopefully you are somewhere enjoying the spring weather. enjoy your weekend bloggie friends!

office asana

2010-05-21T09:57:00.000-04:00

it wasn't so long ago that i spent my days either in my car commuting to and from work or at my desk. i sat... a lot! if i was stressed or anxious i tried to breathe deeply and focus myself, but i never really thought about whipping out some yoga right there in front of my computer. i never used to consider yoga something you could do in a chair. and man, i was missing out! so since i know lots of us still spend the majority of our days desk-bound i wanted to share a little chair yoga sequence that's sure to rejuvenate and de-stress.

and i promise, the boss won't even notice!

lessons learned

2010-05-20T13:48:00.001-04:00

i've been thinking lately of lessons learned. and i've also been thinking about the idea of constructive criticism. a couple of weeks ago i had a really negative experience in a class i subbed and the situation has been mulling around in my mind since. and as much as i try to let it go, i find thoughts of it still haunting me.

at first i beat myself up. i always try to make everyone happy in my classes - and you know what? it ain't always gonna happen! but then i really broke the situation down and realized that what really bothered me wasn't exactly the experience, but the fact that i felt a person really took the time to be cruel and hurtful towards me for no other reason than they thought they could. maybe this person felt bigger or better than me, or perhaps this person just treats everyone this way, but i became really hung up on the fact that this person spoke to me the way that they had.

i'm very big into respect. and i saw just how much i shut down when i feel attacked. and it got me thinking... how often do we hurt people when we think we're giving constructive criticism? (for the record, i don't think this person was trying to be constructive with their "advice", but it got me thinking anyway)

offering constructive criticism can be very helpful for someone and when i'm off on a new venture i'm always seeking it out. but if the delivery of the info is hurtful, the message may as well not even matter. people won't hear it. have you ever had this kind of situation happen to you? has anyone tried to be helpeful but wound up hurting you or making things worse?

there's an instructor (chalene johnson) who always says "if its something i can change or helpful than tell me, but if i can't change it or its hurtful, save it!" now those are words to live by!

i have since (mostly!) been able to let go of what happened during that negative experience and i've grown. i think it toughened my skin a bit! and i can always use a little of that :)

so if you're dealing with something similar, let's let go of it a little more each day. holding onto these things only causes us more pain and keeps us living IN THE PAST.

stay present. stay strong. and always remember that how you say something has just as much impact as what you say.

Restorative Yoga Treat

2010-05-16T18:39:00.001-04:00

happy sunday bloggie friends! i wanted to share this restorative yoga clip from tara stiles. when i'm super stressed, need to clear my mind or just feeling pretty chill, i love to indulge in some restorative yoga. i'm very drawn to power yoga and vinyasa, but variety is the spice of life and sometimes restorative just hits the spot!

i'm feeling pretty amazing tonight because i literally taught yoga all weekend and got to do everything from active vinyasa to gentle yoga to deep stretching and relaxation yoga. total bliss. tonight is the survivor finale and while i may very well be the only person left that watches this show, i just love it! i have popcorn all ready to go!

excited much?

before bed tonight, grab some pillows and a fluffy blanket and enjoy this totally indulgent treat!

don't worry...

2010-05-11T11:16:00.001-04:00

be happy!

hi loves! i've been quite the busy girl today. up since 4:30am, out the door for a 7am yoga sesh, cleaned the casa, threw together homemade vanilla protein oats for tomorrow's breakfast, put together a playlist and sequencing for tonight's spin class... whew!

so i wanted to check in as i've not had a chance to in the past couple of days.

i got this email from sara avant stover (remember her? she's on my Ask The Experts page!) about happiness. something we're all trying to achieve and hold onto, right? it always seems to come and go based on our days, our interactions and our feelings. so i found this email particularly interesting because it came from an actual year-long intensive study on happiness done by a woman named gretchen rubin. she studied ways to achieve happiness and here are her take-aways:

1) don't start with profundities

get back to basics

2) do let the sun go down on anger

sit with your anger rather than react to it

3) fake it till you feel it

when you're feeling low, act happy. it's hard, but it works

4) realize that anything worth doing is worth doing badly

learn new things without taking yourself too seriously

5) don't treat the blues with a 'treat'

pleasure can last a minute or two, but the guilt from indulging will last much longer

6) buy some happiness

spend your money on things that offer a lot of happiness bang for the buck

7) don't insist on the best

sometimes good enough is just that... good enough!

8) exercise to boost energy

even a 10 minute walk can change your day and your mood

9) stop nagging

don't insist things have to be done on your schedule, find effective ways to communicate that don't make you sound like you're a nag

10) take action

about 40% of our happiness is within our control, choose wisely and consciously how you live

i LOVE these tips! they all resonate with me and i still find that i have some that i need to work on. i think #10 is powerful because we often mistake how much power and control we really do have within our lives. we can actively choose how to spend our time each and every day. do you choose to watch TV or go for a 30 minute jog? do you choose to let your anger over your work fester inside or do you light some candles, put on some relaxing music and journal out your stress? do you sleep in or wake an hour earlier to fit in yoga? we have the power to live the lives we want! which of these steps connect most with you? do you already do some of them? are any new to you?

something i've been thinking about lately: theta healing. a student in my yoga class recently got certified in this mode of healing and was talking with me about how powerful it is. it seems like it changed her life and i admit, i'm intrigued! anyone know about this thing called Theta Healing?

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are you open for change?

2010-05-05T10:00:00.002-04:00

we can think we're really commited to something, but our heart may not be open to it. we may like the idea of something, but deep down we can't connect to it. so how can we work on that? well, we can open up, of course! sounds simple, right?

how many times have we let stress and anxiety make decisions for us? how often did we put something off or turn something down just so we wouldn't be anxious? or, maybe you're someone who says "well i would go into the career i love but now just isn't a good time" and "i'd like to travel but i have too much other stuff going on right now." so you're into the idea, you want it, you're ready.... but you're not truly open to it.

when i decided to go for yoga teacher training i knew it was going to be incredibly stressful on both myself and my husband. we both worked long hours at the time and i was adding another 15 or so into my weeks. i still wanted to maintain my workout schedule, time with my family and fun... all while not burdening my already stressed hubby. yikes! i knew i wanted to do it and i knew why i needed to do it (mainly i started to help enhance my own practice so i could work on my anxiety disorder) but i couldn't fully open to it. I was hesitant to say yes. what if i was too tired to go to yoga school? what if i had meetings or extra work that had to get done? what if hubby couldn't get to it all? and most of all, i was really resistant to just give up any extra free time i had because it was few and far between!

in the end, i did go. i did committ and i did open up to it. i invested in the time i was there and gave it everything i had.. and yes i was exhausted many, many times (you can go back and read some of my '08 blogs for proof, i was downright delirious in some of 'em!) but it was so worth it. it lead me to a path i never actually anticipated - which also required many days spent agonizing and analyzing my decisions. but really, until i was open to the idea, i couldn't say YES to it.

remembering this time, i put together a sequence based on opening up and saying YES. saying yes to living the life we want, to doing the things we want to do, to being who we need to be. we say no way too often! it can even be as simple as skipping out on a workout or yoga class because you just don't want to get up early. so for 30 more minutes of sleep you skip giving yourself that energy and health boost? that's a time to say YES!

start by standing up super tall and lengthen your spine. stretch your hands to the sky and swan dive into your standing forward bend. reach all the way down and feel the head, neck and shoulders release. let go of the tension. shake your head and let all negativity and worries and mental road blocks come pouring out. inhale and sweep the arms up so you're back to standing tall. create the intention in your heart to say yes and not be afraid to accept life and challenges and change. bring your palms together at your heart and lift your right leg into tree. focus. find something to concentrate on while you breathe into your balance. we need focus for balance and we need focus to commit to our intentions. then extend the left arm out in front of you, draw your right knee straight ahead and lift the foot back, reach for the right toes with the right hand and lift into dancer. reach and extend through that left hand and realize that the next step in our YES process is going forward and doing. so reach out and go forward in your pose as you will once you step off the mat. then, staying in your balance, return to tree and then back to your forward bend. repeat the intention, focus and going forward practice on your lift side.

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bedtime bliss

2010-05-04T12:00:00.001-04:00

one of the best things we can do for ourselves is replenish through sleep. stress and anxiety often disrupts our sleep and leaves us feeling sluggish and fatigued. and if you're stressing about something before your head hits the pillow.... than forget a blissful night's sleep. your stresses will be on your mind all night. so, bliss out your bedtime routine and get ready for a great night's sleep!

some things to do:
*have your room as dark as possible
*turn off all distractions like TV or music
*mist lavender spray on your pillows ( i heart this!)
*invest in an eye mask
*make sure your room is cool and comfortable
*and finally, get yourself a relaxing yoga routine to get both your mind and body ready for rest

check out this one from yogini sadie nardini:

how badly do you want it?

2010-05-03T11:59:00.000-04:00

i was watching hoarders: buried alive last night and my heart ached for the people going through the anxiety of letting go of their things. i know when we watch this show it sometimes seems silly to us that someone needs to keep old cereal boxes and a broken rocking chair from their childhood, but these things have become a part of the people holding onto them and they fear that by letting their stuff go.. they are letting pieces of themselves go.

this one woman in particular was struggling more than usual and everytime the organizer tried to sort through her stuff, her anxiety would sky rocket and she'd yell at the camera crew to turn off the cameras and she told the organizer that she couldn't deal with her touching her things and going through all her stuff. it was overwhelming and painful. she wasn't able to mentally handle everything coming at her. it turns out that it wasn't this woman's choice to have an organizer come in and help. her family was forcing her.

i knew the intervention for this woman wouldn't work. she wasn't ready. she wasn't committed. she wasn't invested. she didn't actually want to change.... at that exact time. maybe in the future, but definitely not at that moment. she felt backed into a corner and that's not enough for someone to change. it takes a lot of courage and strength to face, head on, things that scare and impact your life. but that courage doesn't come from being forced to have it. i remember my husband telling me to "get over my anxiety" and just "stop worrying about things so much." he was so confused as to why i couldn't just 'turn off' the worry switch and stop the painful and exhausting panic attacks and anxious feelings. well... if it was that easy, we'd all turn off the switch, wouldn't we!

not everyone understands what others are going through. my husband will never know what it feels like to have a panic attack. i'll never know what it feels like to hoard until my house is buried beneath things. but what we do know is how to support the people we love. we can't force change. i was never going to heal from anxiety until i was ready. no one could tell me to just "stop" or "knock it off." i had to be ready to take the long journey and commit to changes i would inevitably need to make. i'm not gonna lie, some of these changes were horrifying. i had to face lots of fears! but how else would i know i could do it? how else would i help myself? and that's why people can't be pushed. you need to be invested in your journey and committed to your own change and growth.

so how committed are you?

how badly do you want to change your life? to live your life? first, know exactly why you want to change. then take small steps of committment to bring these positive changes to your life. COMMIT TO YOU!

i use my strength... and i commit!

2010-05-02T21:00:00.001-04:00

so intensati pretty much rocked my little yoga world. i was sweating, yelling out empowering affirmations, groovin' to sexyback and black eyed peas and then finished with a beautiful yogic cool down and sitting 'savasana.' the instructor kicked off the class by sharing something she was going through this week and how she was working to overcome it... and ultimately her message was my best is good enough. i am good enough.

LOVE

how often do we all fall victim to the pursuit of perfection?

::raises hand sky high::

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she reminded the class that this was our hour to feel good. it was our time to let go and surrender. it wasn't a total yoga-ish class, lots of aerobic type jumping and kickbox punching, but it was a blast and the hour FLEW by. i couldn't believe when she turned off the heart pumping tunes for a more chill playlist and we started a deep breathing cool down. all in all, my intensati experience was.. amazing! and i'm totally going back every sunday. it was such an empowering way to start my day and left me with a smile the whole day.

so if you have one of these classes by you... try it! the inspiration, personal empowerment and strength is palpable. oh yeah, and its FUN to boot.

you know me, if it ain't fun, i don't do it!

the light feeling followed me through the rest of my day and i thoroughly enjoyed my coffee date with my girlfriend. we sat and relaxed in starbucks for nearly 2hrs and had lots of laughs. always the best!

so back to normal tomorrow, teaching yoga in the AM and PM and getting back to work on a project i've been tending to. bliss. hope your sunday brought you lots of happiness!

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happy may days!

2010-05-02T07:31:00.000-04:00

ok, so i know i'm a day late with this post, but since coming home from my trip out east i've been a little scattered! in the days that have passed, i took my parents out to dinner for their 30th anniversary, unpacked, caught up on massive amounts of laundry, redecorated most of my apartment and did a huge spring cleaning.

i fully intended to blog yesterday but the first day of my favorite month brought an unusual heat wave that begged to be enjoyed outdoors. i am so blissful now that spring is here!

in an hour i'm leaving to take my very first intensati class. i'm kinda psyched about it. the creator, patricia moreno, gave a special class at a gym i teach at but i was away for it and bummed to have missed it. so i've been looking forward to taking this class since learning about it. if you've never heard of it, and pardon my meager description as i've never taken a class myself until today, its a cardio workout with affirmations. i've heard you jump, kick, punch and yell out things like "i am strong" and "everything i need is already inside me."

should be a lot of fun and a great way to kick off a sunday. after the intensati class, i'm going to visit my baby nephew - 4 months old! - and then coffee with a girlfriend. all in all, a great day is ahead of me.

i hope your sunday funday brings you lots of bliss!

leaving you with this question: do you get excited to try new workouts or do you stay true blue to your standbys? i LOVE mixin' it up and trying new classes, new routines and new workouts. i can almost always walk away having learned something new to get my sweat on and have fun doing. i love meeting other instructors and it always keeps my body guessing so i'm less likely to plateau. what's your fave way to move??

worrier or warrior?

2010-04-25T10:00:00.003-04:00

what do you do everyday to keep your worries at bay?

every morning when we open our eyes we can make a promise to ourselves to be strong, to be happy, to be grateful and to be a warrior.

i'm still practicing daily gratitude and i make it non-negotiable to do something everyday to bring happiness and peace into my life... and that can be in the form of yoga, running, writing, blogging, reading... anything!

we can lose so much time getting caught up in the worry-cycle and we deserve better. everyday we get a chance to shine, to make something happen, to move closer to our goals and to love ourselves a little more. but worry just gets in the way of all that. it holds us back. its frustrating and keeps us bogged down with the weight of the world.

so release your worries. be a warrior and fight for the best life you can possibly have. and when worries take over, consciously make the decision to mentally switch gears and remember how strong and capable you are!

Yoga Warrior Sequence:

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happy weekend!

2010-04-24T07:25:00.001-04:00

the weekend is here, the weekend is here! granted it's only 7am, but how has your day been so far? i have a feeling mine is going to be busy!

last night i had so much fun at yoga. my first class on friday evenings is a teen class which is cool because i love to see yoga trickling into younger generations. and how helpful would yoga have been if we ALL had it in high school, right? i missed the boat on that one, but thankfully climbed on board soon after college. the girls are great and we always have a good time. my second class had a tiny turn out - 1! - because it was so beautiful out and its hard to make your way to the gym or yoga studio on gorgeous nights, so my student and i did a special rockin' yoga class that made us sweat our little hearts out. bliss. i love sweat sesh's and yoga sesh's so combine 'em and i'm in heaven. needless to say i slept like a baby last night after that energy release.

so hubby and i leave tomorrow for our little jaunt out east and we're super psyched. its the perfect amount of time to kind of chill and regroup after some craziness. we're taking our little puggle... so it's our first family trip! ha!

something particularly cool about this trip - it's a road trip! those words used to strike fear into my heart like no one's business! long car ride? yikes! but now it just brings happiness and excitement. i'm making a stellar playlist for the ride and picking up lots of snacks and drinks for us the cart with us because i never know what kind of food we'll find while we're away so i try to be as prepared as possible. i'm planning on getting in some quality cardio with early morning jogs, yoga in the backyard and lots of walking.

what do you have planned for this weekend? hoping it's something fun!

and just to make sure the road trip stays as something fun, i'm going to indulge in lots of restorative and deep stretching yoga tonight to put me in a great mindset for the trip! can't wait!

Annnnnd HAPPY EARTH DAY!

2010-04-22T14:30:00.000-04:00

almost forgot to wish you a beautiful, happy earth day!

what can you do today for mother earth?

yoga class this morning was chock full 'o balances (for our grounding) and we did sun salutations in all four directions to honor the earth and our connection to it.

an awesome website to check out for tips on being GREEN : Gorgeously Green

some earth friendly things i do:

* recycle

*i have organic yoga clothes and an eco-friendly mat from gaiam

*i have reusable bags for food shopping and errand running

*i try to fit my purchases in my gym or hand bag rather than using the store's plastic bags
*i eat a high raw vegetarian diet (earth AND animal friendly!)
*i make my own household cleaners to limit my use of chemicals

when i have my own house, i'd love to compost and garden and hang dry my clothes outside.

what do you do to be more green?

image source

manifest the best

2010-04-22T14:20:00.000-04:00

hey guys - happy thursday! its a beautiful spring day over here and i'm loving it! been up since 4:45am and going, going, going. i did sneak in a little nap though. i'm a big fan of naps.

i just finished a chocolate cherry protein shake and wanted to sneak in some blog action before heading out again to finish my day. today's topic of choice: manifesting. do you believe that you can manifest your own destiny or do you subscribe to the notion that everything is chance and coincidence?

i used to think about this a lot back when i was trying to heal from my panic attacks. i wondered if i could just simply will it all away. if i really tried hard enough, would i be able to just shift my mindset and make all anxieties go away? nope! i chalked it up to not having enough will power or mental strength and i forgot about it. i hadn't thought about manifesting since i walked into a bookstore a few months ago (um, wow, months ago? way overdue for a B&N trip!)

while browsing the store a book on manifesting caught my eye. it was by dr. wayne dyer and it was all about manifesting everything you want in your life and having the power to attract things to you. i thought it looked kind of cool so i tossed it in my basket. since i have piles of books screaming to still be read, that one got pushed to the end of the line and once again, i forgot about manifesting!

fast forward to this week. the book caught my eye again! coincidence? i think not! haha. i grabbed it and started reading the first few pages. i'm already intrigued. i do actually believe you can attract 'like' power and things and people. i do believe you can manifest your destiny. and i think a lot of us are close. i'm like a bossy back seat driver right now and i'm itching to just grab the wheel. i kind of have control, but i'm not refined enough to truly be an active participant in this manifest thing.

so i'm on the first of wayne dyer's 9 manifest principles and i'm eagerly anticipating how he lays out this game plan. i love steps. i love road maps for life. the thing that i'm getting though is that these things can't be rushed. so i plan to take my time and let the book absorb.

what are your thoughts on manifesting your destiny and life? are you a driver or passenger kind of person when it comes to life? i think i'm so big on the control thing because i spent so much time not in control and just going along for the ride, accepting and settling for whatever came my way. once i became an active person in my own life, things totally turned around. i can only imagine the power of manifesting even more amazingness into your life!

got gratitude?

2010-04-21T09:59:00.000-04:00

confession time: sometimes i get so stuck in a rut that my days become automatic. i watch the same shows, drive the same way to all my classes, take all the same classes at the same gyms/studios, eat dinner at the same restaurants and grab take out from my dependable faves. when i'm in a jam i turn to the same dinners that i've made hundreds of times before and soon i realize that i'm in a rut and have mentally tuned out for a bit.

ever happen to anyone else? you just get so settled into a routine that you forget to shake it up?

now don't get me wrong, routines can offer comfort to those of us that get shaken by change. but when we initiate a little change into our lives every now and then we can really come to appreciate everything we're doing on a whole new level.

i thought about this last night. usually i watch a DVR'ed episode of Dancing with the Stars on tues night so i can fast forward all the commercials, i make a salad or some other quick dinner (because on tuesdays i've been up since 4:45am and am pretty much exhausted by the end of the day), curl up on the couch with said dinner and chill until i can't keep my eyes open anymore. but i didn't want to get stuck in that rut. i happen to have had the house to myself, so i poured myself a glass of vino, grabbed some delicious italian takeout complete with salad and wheat bread, lit some incense and tuned into Biggest Loser. i felt so amazing just from those small changes that after i finished my dinner i put on PJs and relaxed into some deep stretching yoga. i completely lost track of time and wound up practicing for 45 minutes! something i never do anymore unless i pre-schedule it! it was total bliss and i slept like a rock because of it.

this morning i continued practicing this gratitude by choosing to make myself a healthy smoothie for breakfast but i got creative and tossed in all kinds of spices and fruit. the outcome was fabulous. i walked a different route with my pup and enjoyed the warmer spring weather and i played music while i got ready for a new yoga class i'm teaching this afternoon. i'm feeling amazing and energized and happy with this mindset. i'm newly aware of things because everything i did on autopilot i'm starting to sit up and take notice of... and then change! and it doesn't have to be anything drastic. just enough for me to be present in what i'm doing. everything can be a treat if we let it.

here's some more things i'm grateful for:
* the time to practice so much yoga and free time to run, workout, do pilates...
* afternoons off to go to the park with my pup
* my hubby and our exciting jaunt out east this weekend
* adding more classes to my schedule and getting to meet new people at new gyms and studios, expanding myself

if a gratitude list isn't something you do, i highly suggest trying it out. journal it, write it on a sticky pad or if you have a TO DO list or agenda book just jot down one or two things each day that you're grateful for. it really opens your eyes and cultivates a beautiful awareness that we sometimes lose as we're busy living our lives. we all have responsibilities, we all have jobs and kids and spouses and houses and stuff ... and we owe it to ourselves to pay attention and be present and enjoy everything happening around us -even if it sometimes feels overwhelming. think of how much stillness and calm you can bring to your life by practicing gratitude and being present.

what are you grateful for today?

does yoga cause you stress?

2010-04-20T05:35:00.001-04:00

I talk so much about how great yoga is for stress and anxiety relief, but sometimes I forget to consider how stressful it can be to actually go to a yoga class - especially for those that are super new to it.

Common things that run through the beginner's mind:
* what if I look stupid doing a pose
* what if the instructor goes to fast and I can't keep up
* what if the yoga is beyond my level
* does it matter that I can't bend into a pretzel and flip my feet behind my head
* what if people laugh at me

And that's just a glimpse! I've heard every question imaginable about yoga before someone new takes a class and I've asked myself some of these as well in the beginning.

What we're forgetting is the heart of yoga. Its about you. Its about connecting your mind and body. Its about stretching out of your comfort zone, but not out of your boundaries.

The only thing you need to make sure of is that you're in a class you'll feel comfortable in. If you want stress relief and you're a beginner, you wouldn't pick a power vinyasa class. Find beginner and gentle classes by calling your local studios and gyms and never feel intimidated to ask the instructor about the flow of the class. Then roll out your mat and trust yourself.

I saw a student the other day struggling to find comfort in a pose. I approached and asked if she was feeling alright. Turns out she had some tightness in her legs and felt better not sitting crossed legged. She asked if it was ok to stretch out straight. My answer: OF COURSE. I'm just a guide in class, your body is your teacher. That's why we practice - to enhance that level of connection and awareness. After class that same student commented on how, even though she modified poses, she didn't feel judged. That's how everyone should feel! Its YOUR yoga! If an instructor pushes you past your limits and makes you feel uncomfortable, go to a different class. Yoga class shouldn't cause you stress, it should do just the opposite.

Don't be scared to experiment with different classes and teachers to find what you most connect with. Keep an open mind, go to a class that is appropriate for your level and what you're looking for and enjoy it! Ask for modifications if you need them. You wouldn't go to a new hair stylist and just let him or her cut and dye your hair without you giving any input, right? When I teach a class, I rarely create sequences beforehand anymore because my students don't fit molds. I need to draw on their energies and their abilities to create my class. Because actually, its not MY class, its always theirs!

Have you ever been stressed out by trying a new yoga class or had any of those "what if" thoughts creep in while downward dogging on the mat? Ever have a really positive experience and connection with an instructor that changed you?

the sniffling yogini

2010-04-18T08:43:00.001-04:00

good morning! hope everyone is having a wonderful start to their sunday! i definitely am. its been officially over one week (8 days) since i caught strep throat and i'm FINALLY starting to feel better! so fabulous. i slept through the entire night last night and had minimal coughing both last night and this morning. and for those of you that have had terrible colds and coughs this winter, you totally know what i mean when i say that that cough obliterated any chance of a full night's sleep.... for days! my eyes turned a sexy shade of bloodshot around thursday.

so anyway, i decided this morning to start turning back to my old routine of eating and smoothie sipping, yoga and (super light) cardio. gotta ease back in slowly. so as i type this i'm sipping on a chocolate coconut hemp protein smoothie so i can gain some energy back in my beat up body and i have a date with my yoga mat at 10:30am. i'm actually teaching the class, but its a super gentle one and i plan on indulging myself in some deep arse stretches right along with the class. whenever i'm sick i tend to resist making adjustments on students as much as possible because i hate the idea of my germy little hands on everyone as their trying to relax.

sleepy yogini source

hubby and i had kind of a crazy week and lots of things are changing so i'm calling on my yogic practices more than ever. especially nadi sodhana. and since we have lots going on and both of us have been on-and-off sick for the past 2 weeks we decided that we're going to spend some time together out east. next weekend we're packing up the pup, the truck and our bags and treating ourselves to some much needed time away. i can't wait. visions of wooded jogging paths, fireplaces, bottles of wine and outdoor yoga dance in my head. i'm hoping for some nice weather too. that would be blissful. but no matter what, i'm so pumped for this week to hurry up and go by so we can jump in the car and just go!

what are your plans for the rest of your day? how was your week? i pretty much slept through mine, so fill me in on what i missed =)

sick days

2010-04-15T11:33:00.000-04:00

i've been battling strep throat since saturday and am steadily feeling worse. i've been trying to push through and teach some classes, but after each class i'm pretty fried and my throat aches and burns from all the talking. i've unfortunately had to sub out and cancel some classes. i hate having to do that. and it actually causes me a lot of stress. do i cancel? do i try to push through? will everyone at class be let down?

even though i feel like i'm swallowing glass, i try to be there for every class i can. do you ever feel like that? you're sick or having some other pressing issue you need to tend to, but you push it aside and soldier on because you're concerned with what co-workers, your boss, a friend or a student might think of you?

doctor's orders are to stay in bed and not teach so as not to stress or hurt my throat anymore. i'm trying not to be consumed with the "but what if everyone hates me for canceling class??" thoughts. i'm sick. people get sick. things happen. so i'm taking care of myself and making sure that i get back to 100% as soon as possible so i can once again rock my classes. if i don't take care of myself now, i'll just get worse and wind up having to cancel or sub out more classes. sometimes you just gotta put your health first so you can get back stronger. -and not stress about it too much! :)

sequence for a rainy day

2010-04-09T09:24:00.000-04:00

i was so enjoying the warm weather and sunshine we were having - and then this morning i woke up to chilly weather and pouring rain. i know some people totally dig the rain and find it relaxing, but i'm not one of 'em! my morning started off with a wet walk around the block with the pup (who dislikes the rain as much as i do) and then taking care of my sick hubby. he caught some kind of bug from all the traveling he's been doing so i made him some soft boiled eggs and loads of herbal tea to help get him through his day. i was hoping to get myself to my bikram class, but i had other things to tend to and my morning kind of slipped away from me. so i'm aiming to grab a bikram class tomorrow afternoon after i teach my morning classes.

to make me feel better i whipped up one of my fave breakfasts ... the breakfast sundae!

and a big 'ol mug of coffee :)

now i'm off to beat the rainy day blues with some killer cardio and yoga. on the agenda is TurboKick (which is a sweat-fest like no other) and then some deep, restorative yoga to stretch out all the kinks.

i'm going to start teaching TurboKick soon so i'm super pumped about that. and the more practice i get doing it the better!

i hope you aren't having a wash out day!

here's the restorative sequence i'm going to enjoy:

source

Present Moment Workshop™ Announcement!

2010-04-08T06:13:00.001-04:00

Good morning loves! I'm very happy to announce the details for my next Present Moment Workshop™!

The upcoming workshop will be held on either Saturday, May 15th OR Sunday, May 16th. The studio is going to determine the date by what suits the most people signing up. Sign ups are happening now! So if you're free that weekend, I'd love to see you there! Contact and detail info for the studio, Harmony Yoga and Dance, can be found here: harmonyyogaanddance.org

WHAT: Present Moment Workshop™ - learn how to alleviate stress and anxiety by utilizing yogic practices and principles in your daily life.
WHEN: May 15th OR May 16th; time will be determined based on day
WHO: presenter Bonnie Schmidt, RYT, fitness instructor, stress + anxiety coach
WHERE: Harmony Yoga and Dance, Wantagh
COST: $60

if you're interested in learning more about how yoga can help you deal with stress and anxiety, come join me!

gotta get GROUNDED

2010-04-07T22:00:00.002-04:00

Hey guys! I'm currently hanging out in bed and starting to wind down from a busy day. My pup is glued to my side, resting against me and already snoring. I heart this little man!

So this morning i whipped up a raw strawberry protein smoothie and ran out to catch a spin class before my hectic day began. I was pleasantly surprised to see a new instructor. Yikes! Has it been that long since I've popped in for my (usually) normal wednesday AM spin sesh? And because its a pet peeve of mine when people walk out of a class when a new person is there (all us instructors gotta start somewhere!) I stayed and wound up having a totally killer sweat-fest. It put me in such a good mood for the rest of my day.

I wanted to share what I've been focusing my classes on this week: grounding. Whenever we're feeling stressed, anxious or just out of place we can turn to a grounding practice to help us feel connected and stable again. My classes and I have spent time creating an intention to be aware of our grounding and connections to the earth.

Some poses to help keep you connected:
WARRIOR I
WARRIOR II
REVERSE WARRIOR
TRIANGLE
TREE
DANCER

I love to add balancing poses to challenge me when concentrating on keeping still and stable within my practice. Think about spreading your toes, rooting down through your feet and breathing deeply.

Try it out the next time you feel out of sorts, disconnected or anxious. See if it helps!

reason 294 why i love yoga and working out

2010-04-07T15:25:00.000-04:00

i was just emailed this article from science daily about a recent study showing the positive effects of exercise on depression and anxiety:

Mental Health Providers Should Prescribe Exercise More Often for Depression, Anxiety, Research Suggests

ScienceDaily (Apr. 6, 2010) — Exercise is a magic drug for many people with depression and anxiety disorders, and it should be more widely prescribed by mental health care providers, according to researchers who analyzed the results of numerous published studies.

"Exercise has been shown to have tremendous benefits for mental health," says Jasper Smits, director of the Anxiety Research and Treatment Program at Southern Methodist University in Dallas. "The more therapists who are trained in exercise therapy, the better off patients will be."

Smits and Michael Otto, psychology professor at Boston University, based their finding on an analysis of dozens of population-based studies, clinical studies and meta-analytic reviews related to exercise and mental health, including the authors' meta-analysis of exercise interventions for mental health and studies on reducing anxiety sensitivity with exercise. The researchers' review demonstrated the efficacy of exercise programs in reducing depression and anxiety.

The traditional treatments of cognitive behavioral therapy and pharmacotherapy don't reach everyone who needs them, says Smits, an associate professor of psychology.

"Exercise can fill the gap for people who can't receive traditional therapies because of cost or lack of access, or who don't want to because of the perceived social stigma associated with these treatments," he says. "Exercise also can supplement traditional treatments, helping patients become more focused and engaged."

The researchers presented their findings March 6 in Baltimore at the annual conference of the Anxiety Disorder Association of America. Their workshop was based on their therapist guide "Exercise for Mood and Anxiety Disorders," with accompanying patient workbook (Oxford University Press, September 2009). For links to more information see www.smuresearch.com.

"Individuals who exercise report fewer symptoms of anxiety and depression, and lower levels of stress and anger," Smits says. "Exercise appears to affect, like an antidepressant, particular neurotransmitter systems in the brain, and it helps patients with depression re-establish positive behaviors. For patients with anxiety disorders, exercise reduces their fears of fear and related bodily sensations such as a racing heart and rapid breathing."

After patients have passed a health assessment, Smits says, they should work up to the public health dose, which is 150 minutes a week of moderate-intensity activity or 75 minutes a week of vigorous-intensity activity. At a time when 40 percent of Americans are sedentary, he says, mental health care providers can serve as their patients' exercise guides and motivators.

"Rather than emphasize the long-term health benefits of an exercise program -- which can be difficult to sustain -- we urge providers to focus with their patients on the immediate benefits," he says. "After just 25 minutes, your mood improves, you are less stressed, you have more energy -- and you'll be motivated to exercise again tomorrow. A bad mood is no longer a barrier to exercise; it is the very reason to exercise."

Smits says health care providers who prescribe exercise also must give their patients the tools they need to succeed, such as the daily schedules, problem-solving strategies and goal-setting featured in his guide for therapists.

"Therapists can help their patients take specific, achievable steps," he says. "This isn't about working out five times a week for the next year. It's about exercising for 20 or 30 minutes and feeling better today."

source

facing our fears

2010-04-06T11:27:00.000-04:00

my early morning yoga classes have been going really, really well and i've come to look forward to them each week. i kind of love waking up so early, before the sun and the hubby, and having my time to get ready and prep class or walk my pup or just relax on the couch with a mug of tea. this morning, i found that i had 20 extra mins on my hands and i took some time to reflect on how i used to feel so much anxiety in the pre-dawn hours. i remember when i was first asked to teach these classes and how i spent some time debating.

would i feel anxious before every single class?

would i always dread those mornings?

would my anxiety become overbearing?

most people would wonder why i said yes! but i said yes for a very specific reason - i love to teach. and just because this class was early in the morning wasn't going to scare me away. i refused to make a decision on the chance that i'd feel some anxiety. i conquered so much... why stop now?

and i could have said "i'll teach the class after i make sure i don't have any morning anxious feelings." but that wouldn't work, because i can't overcome something if i don't face it. it's kind of like what i call the 'monster under the bed' situation. as little kids, we might be petrified of a monster under our bed, but our parents know its our little kid minds in overdrive. just like our anxiety. we tend to feel fear sometimes over things that don't warrant such an intense reaction (like my anxiety over long car rides). but if we don't face our fears and check out what's under the bed -which is nothing!- we'll never conquer the fear. we'll never see that the monster that resides in our minds really doesn't exist and is just fueled by our fears.

but we do need to be prepared. we wouldn't just leap off the bed and take a look if someone didn't say to us "there's nothing under there, take a look for yourself." just as you wouldn't run head first to confront something that causes you anxiety if you didn't know how to yet work through your anxiety.

we always need to take baby steps to confront our anxieties, but we also need to know how to calm our fears and stress before we have the ability to face our fears and ride out our anxiety. we need to understand what a panic attack is and why it won't hurt us before we feel confident enough to work through one.

so i'm glad i said yes to teaching these classes because i'm having a blast doing them. and every class i teach and don't feel that tiny little itch of anxiousness is a success for me. granted, i've had a lot of practice working through things that make me anxious! (the list was long!) but even if i did feel intense fear when having to teach this class, what better way to alleviate it than to teach it and see that i can do it! i have the ability to work through my feelings, face my fears and come out on the other side even stronger.

i always like to celebrate a success!

always consult a physician or professional before introducing something new if you have any questions or concerns.

serving up some green

2010-04-02T10:59:00.001-04:00

good morning loves! we're having some awesome weather lately... we were waaay overdue!

i'm so excited - hubby comes home tonight! he's been away all week and the casa has been fairly quiet without him. however, i did get treated to lots of meals from mom and dad and definitely had a blast with girls night in (margaritas and champagne!). so all in all i kept pretty busy. i have a date with a friend at the dog park today so i'm quickly checking in to see how your friday is going and then head out to run some errands. need to stock that fridge back up!

so this morning i went to breakfast with my dad and before we left i whipped us BOTH up a green smoothie.

in went:

2 heaping handfuls of spinach

1 pear

1banana

1 apple

tsp agave

water

ice

hemp protein powder

maca

i enjoyed a huge glass of the green stuff and dad managed to down half a glass. he actually admitted that it wasn't so bad. he was a bit turned off by the green, thick looking liquid, but i pumped it up with so much sweet fruit that he didn't mind drinking it and said he would (if it was pre-made for him!) continue to drink them. small victory! i doubt he'll be making 'em at home, but hey, he still tried it - and liked it.

CHEERS!

and today has also been the first week of my super early wake up calls. when i have my early yoga classes i'm up at 4:45am and on all the other days i'm up at 5:30am and i've felt little to no stress in the mornings. i revamped my routine and it worked beautifully. why didn't i think of this sooner! i'm so glad i took the time to really commit to figuring out what it was about the morning that still caused me some anxious feelings every now and again. now mornings are laid back and stress-free and i'm loving it! did you dissect any anxieties this week or take some time to think of ways to help ease your stress when faced with something that causes you anxiety? if so, do tell!

so what's on your weekend agenda? i'm looking forward to QT with the hubby, possibly hitting up a bikram yoga class, getting my sweat on with turbokick (i start teaching it soon!) and massive amounts of choreography and sequencing for my yoga classes. i have lots 'o playlists to tend to. sounds like bliss to me.

by the way ... anyone read gabrielle brick's article on raw food? anyone try the smoothie? or want to??

happy april!

2010-04-01T05:55:00.002-04:00

Ah spring weather is around the corner and I'm starting to get really excited about it! Visions of flip flops and tank tops dance in my head.

As I am getting ready to head out to my 7am yoga gig, I like to check up on blogs via my life line (aka blackberry) and I came across a super interesting one I wanted to share with you. Its brought to us by gabrielle brick, a rockin' raw food guru that I was introduced to through a TV show on "extreme" diets. I feel the need to include quotes because I don't think raw food is really, terribly extreme... But I digress...

So anyway - love, love, love this chick and I saw her guest blog on Crazy Sexy Life on raw foods and superfoods (if you don't know what a superfood is she explains it in the blog). What made me want to post it is that she mentions raw, superfoods that aid in relieving depression. I know I haven't touched on it a lot, but depression and anxiety go kind of hand in hand. I don't know which one comes first -if anxiety causes you to be depressed or depressed feelings cause anxiousness - but either way depression can hit too close to home for some of us going through anxiety. Gabrielle credits raw food for helping her overcome her depression and I'm the first to say a high raw diet helps keep anxious feelings and stomach issues away for me, so I wanted to share. Its brief, but informative - and there's a superfood, raw smoothie recipe in there to boot! Now who doesn't love that!? AND depression-relieving superfoods are in it.

http://crazysexylife.com/2010/superfoods-super-body/

So check it out and see why I'm kinda in love with raw foods. And while I'm not 100% at following the diet, every little bit counts. To obtain the benefits of a raw diet, one should be at least 60% raw. I try to use that as a guide (moderation!) And kickin' off my day with her smoothie sounds awesome. I can't wait to try it. Let me know what you think if you try it too!

old habits die hard

2010-03-28T11:11:00.000-04:00

now i know i say it a lot... anxiety will never go away. it's an emotion. but what does go away? (i can practically hear everyone saying it with me) the ability of anxiety to control your life. so why, even knowing this, do we still get frustrated when anxious situations come our way?

i never hide the fact that early mornings tend to cause me stress. i still have two early AM classes a week and every now and then i find myself in an anxious struggle while i get ready for the class. it definitely doesn't happen every morning (insert psyched emoticon here!) which is absolutely a step in the right direction. however, i still tend to get hung up on why it happens at all.... still... even though its becoming more and more rare.

so i did a little mental detective work. am i giving myself enough time in the morning? no. even though i get up at 5am for a 7am class that's 20 minutes away from my apartment, i still find that for me i need more time. so this week the alarm is getting set for a respectable 4:45am wake up call. am i burdening myself with too much to do once i'm up? yes. before that class you can find me feeding all my pets, walking my dog, sweeping the hallway, wiping down the sink, attempting to make the bed if my hubby gets out of it before i head out the door.... i'm putting too much on my plate. so now the bed will wait for me to get home. if i see a little ball of cat fuzz hiding in the corner of my hallway i'll make sure to make a mental note to tackle the chore first thing when i get back. and as for the pets... they can wait till i'm back from class too. - KIDDING! my 4-legged loves will be the only things i take care of in the morning besides myself. i already prep hubby's breakfasts and lunches the night before (now if that doesn't deserve wife of the year award, i don't know what does!).

and lastly, while a lot of things are directly in my control.... waking up earlier, delegating responsibilities, altering my schedule.... there's one thing that's not so easy to control. and that's my habit of anticipating a panic attack in the early morning hours. i had to think long and hard about this one. what really makes me anxious in the mornings? what's underneath the surface... because usually that's how we can best help ourselves. understanding where the panic comes from. mine can be traced back to my days spent climbing the corporate ladder. i used to stress about my commute and the work ahead. i was obsessed with trying to have everything be perfect and be the ideal worker bee. in reality, all that pressure used to make me sick with anxiety every morning. so now, even though the job has changed and the schedule has changed, my mind and body still anticipate having anxiety -sometimes- when i'm up really early and getting ready to head out. i used to experience anxiety and panic attacks near daily around that time... 5 days a week. it was routine. as routine as showering and brushing my teeth and packing my lunch for the day. it was habit. it was just a part of the plan. it just shows me that even though i can change things around me, there's always an element of breaking the cycle that has to take place. it's not enough to just change places and things around. we have to go right to the source. so i'm also, in addition to all my other changes, going to make one more that tackles this problem right at the sweet spot of it. i'm going to aim to wake up and get going by 5:30am each morning. little by little i'll wake earlier and get my day started, so whether i'm going to class or not is irrelevant. the point is that i'm going to create a new routine and a new healthy, happy habit. early mornings won't be my enemy anymore. and even though the anxious feelings i have are rare, i still don't want them at all. i don't want to be back in that old school mindset (if even for a minute!) of stressing before heading out to work. so i'm going to make every morning a nice one and therefore help change my outlook before anything else can!

if you have a nagging sensitive anxious time, do you know what causes it? can you make changes to help or do you have to dig a little deeper? sometimes we gotta really get into it before we can get outta it.

up and at 'em

2010-03-23T06:21:00.002-04:00

Today is another early day for me. Up and out the door by 6:30am. My 7am class is PACKED out! And I have people there that already did a spin class or lifted... Love their dedication. Its not easy to stay committed to diet and lifestyle changes. I admire 'em and literally feed off theier energy as I'm not as bright eyed and bushy tailed as I'd like to be when waking at 5am. But, I do find on days like this I am more motivated to accomplish more than when I have a slow morning. It all works out in the end!

I had a great weekend. I taught a lot of yoga, spent some QT with my mama and settled in for a Saturday night full of movies with my man. I was very much looking forward to some down time. And, since my injury is all healed up, I spent a lot of time working out and testing new things. When I was on bedrest I found myself very anxious with lots of pent up energy. I definitely need to get my sweat on and relieve all that energy. It took me a loooong time to figure that out, but I do believe everyone can find a healthy outlet.

Some fun ways to relieve stress/anxiety:
1)Yoga/working out
2) Walking/running
3 gardening
4) Cooking
5) Painting/drawing
6) Time out w/ friends + family
7 writing/journaling

You have to take time to figure out what works for you and create a balance. I've worked with a lot of people that find something they enjoy that relieves stress but the moment they get anxious again they become overwhelmed and totally forgo their stress relievers. Make 'em a priority! Nothing (well, very little) gets in the way of my workouts and yoga. And you know what - not everyone understands my commitment to it. Some people think I just do it to lose weight or I eat healthy bc I'm counting calories, but there's so much more to it than that. Looking beyond the sweaty surface, exercise offers SO many physical AND mental benefits! And one of the top mental perks - it rids a person of anxious and depressive feelings. That's all I gotta hear! I get my mind and body healthy all at once - I'll take it!

I'd love to hear from some of u guys! What works for you? What doesn't? What have you tried and why?

getting into the swing of things

2010-03-18T08:50:00.001-04:00

I'm so excited to be able to settle back into my routine. I love mixin' it up every now and then, but having a schedule helps me stay on track with workouts, errands, volunteering, teaching, etc. Between snowstorms, week long black outs, injuries and travel my schedule has pretty much gone south.
Today was the first day I am able to get 100% back to normal. My day kicked off with a great yoga sesh at 7am. I teach this class, but I was finally able to participate in it since my injury. BLISS. I had a great playlist and just fell into the flow with the students. I don't know what others' preferences are but I find the most success with walking around and adjusting students and also doing some of the class with them so they can get visual cueing and not just verbal. I thoroughly enjoyed the energy.

Now I'm relaxing in my car blogging on my blackberry before hitting up some elliptical action. First cardio sesh since injury. LOVE. Then I'm gonna teach again and head out on a mission to restock my 'fridge. Going back to healthy, homemade food... HAPPINESS.

We're finally getting some great weather in NY so I plan to get out with my pup again. I'm so much more centered when I'm active and eating right!

How do you feel about routines and schedules? There's a level of comfort involved with routine. Does it cause you anxious feelings or stress when your days are disrupted?

sans power...sans sanity

2010-03-17T15:48:00.001-04:00

Its been a crazy couple of days. If you follow me on twitter (@anxietytozen) you know I've been without power since Saturday. I'm blogging on my beloved blackberry right now. I've had no access to internet, phone, no heat, no tv, no lights... And I've been living on take out since I have no way to cook or store food. Boo!

But I didn't want to disappear for too long... So how are you all doing loves? Hopefully you're warm and cozy!

And even though NY was slammed with a crazy storm I still managed to have an awesome weekend. On saturday I took a 9hr kickboxing certifcation training called turbo kick. We had a blast! And even though at times we feared the ceiling would blow right off the building we managed to get our sweat on hardcore and have fun while doing it. Since my back/rib injury a week and a half ago I've had to lay off everything, but I did the most I could Saturday and felt amazing. Then hubby and I braved the torrential downpour and winds and met up with some friends for 'ritas and laughs. Was just what I needed...then we came home to a dark, freezing house ... Again, boo!

Sunday I managed to get ready by candlelight and headed out to a workshop with Dharma Mittra. Although I couldn't do all the asana with my injury it still felt good (and loooong overdue) to stretch my body. The workshop was a fundraiser for the non-prof I'm a part of - discover and recover. So fun! And Dharma Mittra has us cracking up as we went through our pranayama and sipped tea on our mats.

Ah-mazing weekend all in all.

Well, since its warmer outside than it is in my apartment, I'm off to take my pup for a super long walk.

If you aren't already, check me out on Twitter. And if you don't already follow my blog, please do! Would love to connect with all of you! Leave comments, say hi, share experiences... I love to hear from you guys!

And I'm excited to announce that a guest post is in the works! Keep an eye out.

allow for aparigraha

2010-03-08T13:57:00.000-05:00

sorry for being MIA the past few days. i actually got injured in class last week and have been on bedrest. yikes! it was wicked painful and totally knocked me out of commission. i need to focus a lot of time on healing because i'm super pumped for an awesome weekend. saturday i have a 9 hour kickboxing certification workshop and saturday i get to indulge in a 3 hr yoga intensive with dharma mittra. so a fully mobile body is crucial. anyway, i wanted to sneak out a blog really quick, so let's touch on the last of the yamas - aparigraha. this means greedlessness. and again, easy to see how we can incorporate this into our daily lives, but what about our anxiety. how can this help us when dealing with chronic stressors and panic attacks?

have you ever looked at someone else and become insanely jealous that they are able to be carefree and don't seem to have any trouble doing things that cause you immense stress? are you upset because someone else that you know is dealing with anxiety also but seems to be healing and progressing so much quicker than you? this is how i remember to bring a little more aparigraha into my life. don't wish for someone else's life or journey. don't desire another person's experiences because you think they are better or more valuable than yours. we are all on our OWN journey and that journey must be honored at every bump and turn.

i hope you enjoyed the focus on the yamas and how they help me keep my anxiety and stress in check. i used to write these down affirmation-style and refer to them daily, trying my best to practice at every chance i got.

try it out. some may click with you and some you might already be doing, but take time to introduce them into your life and see how they impact you.

next up......... the niyamas!

bring on brahmacarya

2010-03-04T16:47:00.000-05:00

yama number 4... brahmacarya. this is to remind us to practice moderation. after all, sometimes we can definitely indulge in too much of a good thing. and on the flip side, we can also linger in too much of a bad thing.

i tend to relate this to negative thinking and 'spinning.' spinning for me is when scary thoughts get out of control. i wasn't able to get out of the loop so i would say i was 'spinning.' we indulge in so much negativity by habit. this also ties back to ahimsa... and not beating ourselves up. so putting the breaks on too many negative thoughts or scary thoughts is practicing moderation in our thinking habits.

i also practice this when i'm sweating out my stress. i usually gravitate towards sweaty, heart pounding yoga and workouts to totally alleviate my anxiety. for some, restorative yoga and meditation helps, but for me i need to be physically challenged in order to completely absorb within myself and reconnect. so at first, when i discovered this, i would pile on the workouts. sometimes my total time spent working out would total 2+ hours a day. i'd hit up a spin class, then fit in some yoga, maybe some weights or go out for a jog to clear my head. i didn't realize i was doing this until i literally made myself so exhausted that i barely had energy to climb out of bed in the morning. moderation. when i was totally stressed and it was really bad, i used to hide in my apartment for days and only emerge to go to work. i spent all of my time worrying and staying curled up on my couch... again, moderation. either i wasn't doing enough to regulate my energy or i was doing too much. it's all a balance. it's not all or nothing... and i CONSTANTLY remind my students of this.

look at your life and notice if there's something that you're doing too much of. maybe you're drinking 4 cups of coffee a day and those jitters are just increasing your anxious episodes. maybe you're spending too much time not talking about your feelings and staying closed off to people... maybe you're looking for ways to stop thinking about your anxiety and you're throwing yourself into work and sacrificing important family time.

there's always a place in our lives that could use some moderation. where do you want to add a little balance in?

Yama #3 - asteya

2010-03-03T14:37:00.000-05:00

welcome to the wonderful third yama - asteya.

i heart asteya. it means non-stealing... or practicing generosity. now it's pretty obvious how we can include this in our daily lives, but how does this relate to anxiety? easy! SHARE WHAT YOU KNOW!

knowledge is powerful. it's what helped me realize that panic attacks wouldn't kill me and that there were actually holistic healing options for me out there. i loved reading blogs and books about other people's experiences with anxiety because, not only could i relate, but i could learn from what they went through because they were further along in their journeys.

so that's what brought me here. that's how my Present Moment Workshop was born. that's how i began to develop and introduce classes. that's how i found where i fit in the world. everything i do is based on sharing. i live my life to share my experiences and what worked (and didn't!) work for me. i relate to others by being open and honest. i saw no benefit to holding on to everything that i was learning about and everything i was going through. i knew i wasn't alone with anxiety. i reached out to people, i talked to anyone that would listen and i share, share, share as much as i possibly can. so as you begin to dive deeper into your journey, begin to share everything you learn and experience. be generous with your knowledge. let someone else potentially dealing with the same things know that you've been there... and what you did to help yourself. sharing our knowledge is so powerful. we can impact people in ways we never knew possible. i live for seeing people's faces break into smiles and nod as i break down what a panic attack is and all the reasons that -while scary- won't actually harm them. i love seeing a look of acknowledgement when i mention an anxiety that i had had that they are currently dealing with. and nothing beats seeing reactions to learning about how yoga and exercise and diet all work hand in hand at helping people heal from anxiety. and while those aren't the only things that help, they are definitely a piece of the puzzle and i make it my mission to share that with everyone.

shedding some light on satya

2010-03-02T09:59:00.000-05:00

touching on the next yama can be challenging. satya means truthfulness. we always have the chance to practice this with others, but what about with ourselves? i never realized that when i hid my anxiety i was lying about a huge part of my life. i ended a friendship with a very close friend just so i wouldn't have to tell her about my anxiety. and i lied about it when she questioned me. of course my growing distance seemed to come out of nowhere... especially from her perspective. but rather than be honest with her, or myself, i just lied and made up reasons why i could never meet up or have time for a chat on the phone. if i was anxious about going to dinner with family i would lie and say i didn't feel well to get out of it. and if something scared me even though i knew it logically shouldn't (like driving to a store down the block), i lied to myself and tried to justify my fear rather than work through it. i accepted the anxiety as a part of me and instead of changing, i just defended myself. that defensiveness was me just lying to everyone, including myself.

so take time to be honest about what's going on. you don't have to scream it from the rooftops, but if you find friendships or relationships are suffering under the weight of carrying this secret around, then find someone you trust and share with them what's going on. its often a huge relief to both you and them. and i found that people didn't judge me, even if they didn't understand. once i shared my anxieties i was able to talk through them with friends and lean on supportive family members when i found myself struggling on my journey.

and most importantly, be honest with yourself. understand your fears and stressors and work through them. be honest about the intensity of the fears and the reality of them happening. be honest about what helps you feel calm... is it yoga or reading or talking to a friend on the phone? be honest with yourself if you find that you're having a panic attack... you know it's just a panic attack and it won't hurt you. and if being honest out loud is too intense right now, then spill it in a journal. get it all out. write passionately, honestly and from your heart about your feelings and emotions.

sometimes we find that honesty really is the best policy.

no laptop... wha wha!?

2010-02-28T15:38:00.000-05:00

i've been a little MIA since i've lost access to my laptop. i accidentally snapped the charger wire (don't ask) and when my laptop ran out of battery i fell into emotional dispair. ok, not really. i did get bummed though. hubby came to the rescue by ordering another charger and since he's out for the day i've decided to jump on his PC and fit in a quick blog.

i've been super busy working on new sequencing for my yoga classes, kickbox choreography and compiling new class soundtracks... you know me. i love my music! in between all of that i'm teaching, teaching, teaching like a little crazy person.

anyway, i wanted to get in a quick word about the Yamas and Niyamas i chatted about awhile ago. they are kind of like the moral codes of yoga and i talk about them in my Present Moment Workshop. i wanted to share some of them with you because i really do believe that its not just a matter of changing our energy or actions when healing from anxiety, but its also a matter of changing our thoughts. and those thoughts tend to be negative! we create horrible anticipations with "what ifs" and we tend to make catastrophies out of mole hills. so, let's touch on the first one... AHIMSA. ahimsa is the practice of non violence. now this can be anything from vegetarianism to not saying hurtful things to someone when engaged in an argument... but for those of us with anxiety, we should take extra caution to practice non violence towards ourselves.

stop beating yourself up! healing is a journey, not just a destination. and we all know anxiety is an emotion, so it will never just go away. we need to learn from it, understand it and put effort into helping ourselves. be aware of negative thoughts! my yoga practice really helped me create an awareness of my thoughts and meditation time helped me change old patterns and work on clearing the mind to keep it at peace. i recognize if my thoughts are crazy out of control or completely not logical. i didn't always used to be able to do this. i used to hang out with negative people, i used to feed into my negative energy and i never missed an opportunity to put myself down. i'd never treat another person as badly as i treated myself. when i realized this... i began to keep track of my negativity and my scary thoughts. if something anxious came up and my thoughts began to spin out of control, i took a time out and put all my thoughts on paper to clear my mind and worked on changing those negative, bad and scary thoughts to logical, calm and rational thoughts. it helps! and i used to underestimate the power of positivity and self kindness.

do you tend to hang out on the negative side? have you ever tried to see the good in scary situations or do you just jump to anticipating the worst? do you ever take the time to think about your thoughts??

try it today! keep track with little tally marks or numbers. see at the end of the day how many negative, bad thoughts you have and how strongly they impact your anxiety. they feed into it. after becoming aware of your thoughts you can have better control over switching the patterns. break the negative habit for a positive one. talk yourself logically through anxious situations and make an effort to create happy and positive "what ifs." create affirmations for yourself that remind you how incredible you are and how dedicated to this journey you are. and of course include the fact that you are strong and you can do this! you may find thinking about your thoughts eye opening.

Present Moment Workshop Recap

2010-02-22T13:19:00.000-05:00

i had a great time at my workshop this weekend! the weekend went by in such a blur though. i taught, gave a workshop, worked more on my new *project*, had a birthday lunch with family, met a girlfriend for dinner, had a night out with the hubby, hit up the gym... wow! i'm totally enjoying the fact that i only have two classes today and have some time to get some things done that i wanted to get to over the weekend, but never got a chance. one of which is get busy in the kitchen whipping up some homemade protein bars for hubby and i to snack on during the week.

so onto the workshop! it was a great turnout and i had a lot of fun. like always, i started out by sharing my story, then giving boatloads of info on anxiety and chronic stress. we talked about the stress response and panic attacks, triggers, anxious episodes... you name it! i love when people at the workshops can open up about what they are going through because as they speak so many others are nodding and smiling and i can practically hear their thoughts... which sound something like "wow, i go through that EXACT same thing" its amazing how we can connect by sharing our experiences.

i followed it up with an hour of stress and anxiety relieving asana and pranayama (poses and breathing) and talked about the benefits and impact of each. and we finished with some yogic philosophies and how they can help us better understand our anxiety and help us to heal by reminding us of things like being kind to ourselves and to create awareness as to our triggers, stressors and anxious feelings.

i want to share some of those philosophies with you, so look for them in future posts!

off to finish some work and get moving in the kitch! hope you're having a terrific, and relaxing, monday!
by the way, i'm taking a zumba class tonight. that's my treat to me! what's your treat to yourself today?

PRESENT MOMENT WORKSHOP ANNOUNCEMENT

2010-02-19T09:19:00.000-05:00

hey guys!
have you signed up for this sunday's PRESENT MOMENT WORKSHOP?

there's still room! its at Bonda Yoga in Great Neck, NY from 2:30-5:30pm

sign up here: Present Moment Workshop

come spend some time with me and empower yourself!

don't take it personally

2010-02-18T16:09:00.000-05:00

i have to laugh about my morning. i just literally blogged about not trying to please everyone and being authentically you no matter what and today i found myself faced with this exact situation!

without getting too much into it, i found out that something i did made a person i know unhappy. it wasn't something i did intentionally and i didn't even know that anyone would get upset. i actually did exactly what i was supposed to do, but someone still wound up bummed about it. after finding out, it was all i could focus on. i even jumped on the elliptical before my second class for a quick sweat session and still couldn't shake the icky feeling that comes with letting someone down. after spending some time worrying about it, i took a time out and stopped beating myself up. i'm human. things come up that are out of my control and i do my best to deal. i can't always solve problems and make everyone happy. so yeah, i gave it thought.... because it deserved some thought. if there is something i can do to resolve a situation that upsets someone (no matter what it is) then i'll do it. but if someone is just upset because of personal preferences or desires, then i can only do so much. i can't control everything that happens, i can only do my best. and if my best isn't always good enough, then i can't hang onto guilt or frustration about it. i have to be me. i have to do what's right for me. and i can't focus on one person's opinion.

it definitely takes some time and thought to change the immediate reaction of guilt that i had. but looking at it without judgement, i realized that neither one of us was in the wrong. it had nothing to do with wrong or right. it was just something that happened and this person might've been upset, but it wasn't anything to lose sleep over or get angered about. and for me, it wasn't anything to beat myself up about. it was a blip in both our lives and if this happened a couple of years ago i would've fretted and stressed about this until i got sick over it. but its just a lesson learned and it's nothing personal.

do you ever find that you take some things personally when you don't really need to? sometimes its hard not to! but if you find yourself in that situation, give it some thought because everyone's feelings deserve thought. but then... let it go. don't take it personally.

be YOU x 2

2010-02-16T11:53:00.000-05:00

i heard this from chalene johnson. i always love me some inspirational and fun quotes and felt this one was so perfect. it just hits so close to home for me.

throughout my years with anxiety i spent a lot of time hiding my true self - you know, the one that shows i make mistakes and am human - and constantly tried to live in a place of perfection. i said yes to everyone, took on projects others didn't want so i could make my boss happy, i struggled with figuring things out sometimes because i refused to ask questions and seem incompetent... talk about hard work! its tough trying to be perfect. its frustrating living this way because you become like this actor/actress in your own life. its as though you're living out a role and only when the cameras go off (or you're totally alone!) can you be yourself.

it still takes a lot of confidence to be myself. i've had people comment on my style of teaching classes... i tend to like them loud, fun and sweaty... and i practice yoga to zepplin and the doors and deep purple and i don't think there's anything wrong with that. i've heard many people say "yoga is for everyone" but yet as soon as you venture off the path a little, all of a sudden its not for everyone anymore because you're doing it wrong. and even though i can teach a packed out spin class or kickboxing class and have tons of people say nice things to me about the moves, the music or the energy.... there will always be someone that leaves seeming unhappy and that's who you focus on (again, that was mentioned by chalene johnson) and i just had to laugh because as a fitness instructor its SO true. and as someone so familiar with anxiety its even more true because its a hard habit to break to not focus on the negative.

and i'll admit it - when i transitioned to a full time yoga teacher i gave up my beloved coffee for green tea, i left behind the fun clothes and make up for traditional yoga togs and switched out candles for incense. i believed that to be taken seriously i was going to have to give up some of who i was in order to be accepted. but you know what? after a few months, i shrugged that all off. i can listen to tori amos when i do my sun salutations and i can guzzle coffee with the best of 'em, there's nothing wrong with me enjoying a glass of wine with dinner and its fun to get decked out to teach a class! it doesn't make me any less of a person or teacher just because i like to get my sweat on just as much as i enjoy to get my yoga on and when i practice with a class i like to joke around and have fun... i'm not a serious person and i'm not going to force my practice or classes to be either. the thing is, not everyone is going to like me. not everyone is going to be digging my classes or music or sequences or interpretations and that's ok. i'm confident enough to believe in myself to the point where i can still rock it out my way and know that some people will love it and some won't. its not that there's anything wrong with me or them... it's just that there wasn't a connection and i wasn't what they are seeking out right now. but that one person isn't going to make me morph into an entirely different teacher or person anymore.

there's a big difference between trying your best and constantly having to be the best and it's ok to not have everyone love you. don't waste time trying to be everything to everyone because thats a never-ending quest. and the only person to lose out is you. know what you love, know what makes you smile and keep at it!

open your heart!

2010-02-14T15:17:00.001-05:00

hey loves!

happy V-Day! or U-Day! i heard it called U-day and loved it because its so important to show yourself a little love. and if we can't love ourselves, its hard to love others. so happy V (or U) day to all!

my weekend has been wonderful. saturday i taught a spin class and loved every single minute of it. i actually got so into it at one point that i almost rocked myself right off my bike! yeah... i fully commit to the idea that if it's not fun you won't do it, so make it worth it! i'm that chick at the gym or in the yoga studio totally in my own world, eyes closed, huge smile and lost in whatever i'm doing. i love the present moment and try to exist in it as much as possible.

afterwards i ran to a power pilates class that kicked my booty and left me feeling refreshed and energized. since hubby and i usually work on sundays, we kept saturday 'our' day and once i got home and showered my sweaty self we headed out to see avatar. i made it all the way through with no anxious feelings or anything. YAY! for me, the movie wasn't as wonderful as everyone has been saying, but hubby thoroughly enjoyed it... for the 3rd time!... so well worth it. we then got adventurous and grabbed some indian food to take home and enjoy with a big bottle of red.
this morning, still in my wine haze, i hit the gym and did an elliptical workout that helped me sweat out my toxins and hit up the weights. felt good. it feels good for me to move and i realize how much i've missed it since being under the weather. my schedule is packed this week so i'm looking forward to enjoying some quality couch time in my PJs. with another glass of vino. woot woot!

in honor of this holiday of love, i wanted to share a heart opening practice with you today. ENJOY!

UP DOG

STANDING BACK BEND

CAMEL

BRIDGE

FISH

make sure your body is open and ready, take your time in your practice today and try out one (or all!) of these fabulous heart openers. and they are great stress relievers to boot!

other ways to celebrate love today:
*enjoy a glass of red wine
*cook a beautiful meal
*bake red velvet cupcakes
*light candles
*read an empowering and uplifting book
*write a poem
*call a friend...just because
*treat yourself to a mani/pedi after your yoga class
*take time to think of 5 things you love about yourself and your life
*say I Love You to someone special

i hope you all have an awesome rest of your weekend!

images: iyogalife

happy, happy friday

2010-02-12T10:10:00.000-05:00

good morning to everyone out there in the blogosphere!

i woke up this morning with so much delicious energy that i feel like i could run a marathon. the past couple of nights have been rough for me... still don't really know why... and i've been getting only like 3-4 hrs of sleep a night. not good. doesn't make for a happy girl come the morning. so after dinner last night, hubby suggested i take a quick nap so i could recharge for survivor. while, in theory, that sounded wonderful, it didn't quite work out that way. i totally slept right through survivor and could barely open my eyes when hubby tried to wake me. he just left me to rest and i wound up sleeping straight through until this morning! a total of 11 blissful hours of sleep. ahhhh. i can't even begin to describe how good that felt.

so today i only have one yoga class to teach because my other one has been cancelled for the next two weeks. and while i always love to have classes to teach, its a nice break. so i'm spending my day with my sis-in-law and beautiful baby nephew and fitting in some work in between. so far i managed to clean the house, make breakfast for the hubby and i, walk the puggle, watch an epi of Sex and The City and sort through all of my class CDs. I also am super excited because i'm teaching a SPIN class tomorrow AM. i'm pumped for that! can't wait to make a rockin' playlist and get my sweat on! i'm gonna rock 'em! i also am sending out my kickboxing exam and certification so i'll be able to add that to my class schedule soon as well. yoga, spin and kickboxing? color me the happiest girl in the world! i'm also actively creating an outdoor group workout class that i'm recruiting friends to join. i'm going to be running this on Sunday mornings and can't think of a bettter way to spend a weekend morning.... working out and kicking butt with friends. love it.

tonight after class the hubby and i are getting take out and watching the DVR'd survivor epi from last night. perfect night. and tomorrow we're doing the whole v-day celebration. we're going to see Avatar and getting indian food for dinner. the movies are a really cool thing for me because back in the day, with my anxiety, i refused to see a movie. i hated the idea of being trapped in a movie theatre and not being able to just get up and go. i notice that "trapped" feeling is very common for those of us with anxiety. i'll never forget that after a year of not seeing movies, the first one i felt confident enough to see was wall-e and hubby bought me a little plastic wall-e in honor of the event! i still have it! and i still continue to acknowledge the movies as a stepping stone in my recovery from anxiety... so it's a real special treat for me to do this with him. talk about appreciating the little things, huh? haha!

hope your friday is wonderful and you have some fun plans for this weekend - v-day related or not!

snow day and playing catch up

2010-02-11T15:29:00.000-05:00

wow did we get hit hard yesterday! tons o' snow! it snowed from morning until night. hubby was home and while i had some work/classes/clients to tend to, i did get the night off. my gym closed early. now i hate to be scroogy or cranky about the snow, but it always causes me stress. while its beautiful to look at and invokes peacefulness, there is always the aftermath. the clean up... shoveling out cars.... attempting to walk my dog down sidewalks that are little more than sheets of ice, no outdoor workouts and, for people like me that hate driving in snow, no indoor workouts either because i'm not about to battle the slush for a little treadmill or elliptical action.

hubby and i did manage to have some fun though. while the snow was still fresh and falling we took the puggle out to play and he's always good for a laugh in the snow... especially when its so much it towers over him. we watched a movie, enjoyed a cocktail and we both shimmied into the kitchen to whip up a fun dinner of cheese and avocado quesadillas and veggie chili.

i always love it when the whole world (or at least, my world!) manages to slow down for a bit. i also managed to squeeze in some time to officially finish my kickboxing certification, put together some sequencing for classes and start a new playlist for my rock 'n roll vinyasa class.

today we're left with the aftermath of a snow storm. we dug out the cars at 7am and all that action left me hacking and choking and coughing because apparently i'm still not 100%... i took a hot shower to get rid of the chills and whipped up some eggwhites and toast for breakfast. hubby and i headed out to start our days and as much fun as we had yesterday, i'm back to not digging the snow. icy, slushing, icky.

on a really exciting note - Survivor is on tonight! am i the only one that is still totally into this show? its 2 hrs and its bringing back some oldie but goodie people - can't. freaking. wait. i'm refueling with a banana sandwich (a banana cut in half w/ pb smeared on it) and a cup of coffee. dinner is already made and just waiting for me to pop in the oven. a fun dinner, survivor and a night in? TOTAL BLISS. oh, and as a surprise for hubby i baked some brownies. dessert to boot! gotta love it!

even though days can get stressful, you gotta find the time to make them enjoyable. did any of you get a piece of this snow storm that rocked the east coast? hopefully, if you did, it didn't cause you too much stress!

greetings from the Tweet-erverse

2010-02-09T09:34:00.000-05:00

are you a tweeter?

i know i've mentioned i dig the twitter, but i don't know if i mentioned that i updated my twitter name.

come follow me at @AnxietyToZen

would love to connect with you

early bird gets... the job done!

2010-02-09T09:24:00.000-05:00

i'm sitting here catching up on last night's epi of the bachelor and sipping on my coffee. i just finished my high raw vegan breakfast cookie (chock full 'o protein powder and my newest obsession sunflower butter) and i'm feeling pretty relaxed. my tuesdays have slowed quite a bit and even though it's only a little past 8am, i'm halfway done with my day. i know i've shared with you that mornings can be anxious times for me, but taking on these early classes has been a challenge and a blessing. i've really come into my own and although sometimes i'm met with some stress, all in all the classes have been wonderful. and, on a super awesome note, this morning was the first time i walked out the door to head to class at 6:30am amd there was some light to greet me! woot woot! usually its freezing and pitch black... and while the 'freezing' looks like its gonna stick around, the light has come back to play!

after class, i made a trip to pick up our wash and drop off some movies at blockbuster that the hubby and i watched while we were flu victims. yuck. i'm still dealing with a high ick factor and not feeling quite myself, but i'm truckin' along. the hubby and i both get exhausted after working/teaching, but i'm optimistic that any day now we'll be back to normal! ha!

anyway, we're due for some snow -insert bummed out face here- so i'm hitting up a pilates class at 11am, then i finish my day at 6 and am heading home to whip up a kick booty dinner! last night i made a HUGE salad and baked some sweet potato chips. even though i'm a big fan of raw, sometimes i crave a little cooked food and far be it for me to deny myself what i'm craving.... so long as it's not a big piece of chocolate cake. well... at least not until after the salad! all i do know is that i'm ready to get my diet back on track because i didn't cook a lot when sick and hubby and i depended on take out and quick grab bites... which neither one of us does well with. and pilates is the first class i'm taking in over a week and i'm excited to move

hope you're enjoying your tuesday! are you up and at 'em early or taking it easy today? have you picked something to do today that's just for you? obvi mine is pilates. that's my treat. what's yours?

and if you're prepping for snow... stay warm!

set up for success?

2010-02-08T12:33:00.001-05:00

do you set yourself up for success or failure?

i used to spend a lot of time setting myself up for failure... and i didn't even realize it. i had a pretty decent commute to work everyday and even though i knew it caused me stress, i still ate whatever i wanted and stayed up late trying to avoid the inevitable workday morning. this left me with an upset stomach almost every morning and quite the case of the crankies. i knew time before work was stressful and yet i'd sleep in, i wouldn't prep anything the night before and i'd drag myself around until i became totally rushed and absolutely miserable. then, even though i knew working out and yoga kept me sane, i'd succumb to my anxiety and call it a day by spending my time eating junk food (comfort food) and lounging lazily on the couch. never eliminating my anxious energy or feelings. i never talked about what was going on and i never did anything to change it. i spent a lot of time saying "oh well, it is what it is."

definitely setting myself up for failure.

i knew i was miserable anxious and i did NOTHING to change it. i thought it might go away if i just accepted it and i stopped fighting. i stopped trying to find happiness. i stopped living. and ironically, all of the quitting actually caused me even more stress.

so take stock. look around yourself. are there things you can change that are currently making you unhappy? does journaling make you feel better but you just shrug it off due to being 'too tired' or 'not in the mood?' is there a yoga class that you know you could make, but you just choose not to add it to your day so you get more time on the couch? do you make excuses a lot about things you know would make you feel better, but you just don't do them? do you know what makes you happy or do you just focus energy and awareness on what makes you anxious and stressed?

here's your great big STOP SIGN.

pause. take a time out.

start making the effort. you are worth it. you deserve it. don't let your stress and anxiety get the best of you. try putting this into effect: do one thing, EVERYDAY, just for you. take a bath, write, get your yoga on, go to the gym, out for a run, walk the dog, read a book, watch your favorite movie with popcorn, sip tea, go out to dinner with a friend, make dinner for someone special, go to a movie after work.... just do it. stop making excuses.

set yourself up for success! know what makes you feel good, feel happy, feel relaxed... and DO IT. don't let anxiety make you put your life on hold.

and while this may seem like a waste of time or frivilous... know that these things are some of the most important and powerful things you can do to heal from anxiety.

managing expectations

2010-02-04T13:35:00.003-05:00

as promised... a blog dedicated to expectations. expectations are a funny thing. i've found that sometimes either way they can cause anxiety. since my recent jaunt to new orleans wasn't anything like i thought it would be, i'd like to share how my expectations shaped my experiences there.

around this time last week, the hubby and i were boarding our flight. we were happy and excited... although it took us awhile to get there! that morning, as i was packing my last minute things, hubby noticed it was snowing. i immediately launched into panic mode. my panic mode is filled with "what ifs."

what if the road is icy and we get into an accident on the way to the airport?
what if there are accidents already on the road and we are stuck in horrific traffic and miss our flight?
what if our flight is delayed or cancelled?
what if we board but they keep us on the tarmac for 10 hours before take off?

and the list went on and on. already my expectations were low and bordering on doom and gloom scenarios. so i did what i do with my clients when they have severe concerns causing anxiety... i talked it out logically. we'll check the flight status before we leave. we'll check traffic reports and bring the GPS in case we need to switch directions. we'll leave 30 minutes earlier for the airport. and guess what? snow stopped after an hour and we cruised to the airport. we weren't met with a single bump or delay in plans. after that, i laughed it off and told hubby i'm going to keep my expectations in check for the rest of the trip. and its a good thing i did. in a nutshell: the weather was freezing (much colder than it was supposed to be), hubby had the flu the whole time, our ghost tour was rained out, the cemetery we took a trolley to see was closed and we couldn't get in and due to said flu lots of other plans had to be cancelled. if i hadn't managed my expectations about these situations it would've left me cranky, agitated and anxious. you always plan for your vacations to be amazing, so it can be disappointing when they become less than stellar. but it really wasn't the end of the world. we had fun watching movies in the room and laughed at the timing of everything. so in regards to this trip i had low expectations in the beginning which caused stress and made me really aware of how i was viewing things. therefore i didn't let my expectations get so high that the trip was ruined when things didn't work out exactly as i wanted.

we don't always realize how much of an impact our expectations have. i remember back over the summer training and training with puggle for our 5k. i really thought we'd nail it and run with ease. turns out the day of the race i was struck with a side cramp 7 minutes into the run and it totally took a toll on my time. i had high expectations and because of that, i wasn't able to appreciate the fact that i ran my first 5k with my pup. i spend a lot of time hung up on the fact that i didn't do as well as expected. of course, it didn't last too long and by the time i got home i realized what an accomplishment it was for me either way. but it still gets the best of us every now and then.

do you find yourself having very high (or low) expectations about things and it causes you stress? ever plan a romantic meal for your significant other only to find out you burned the chicken and it completely ruins the whole night for you? or maybe you had expectations on a gift you'd receive or a trip you'd take or a promotion you were sure you'd get.... only to find yourself let down and anxious and upset?

we can totally manage our expectations. it's great to have high ones for ourselves and things around us, but its important to acknowledge that they are just that... expectations. they aren't guarantees. so if you find yourself over analyzing and expecting certain things make sure to include this sentence at the end of those thoughts: it would be great if it worked out that way, but it's ok if it doesn't also. and have back up plans on the back burner. or be ok with laughing at things and how they work out. don't take it so seriously.

whatever you find works for you, just make sure to keep awareness at those expectations and how they creep in when we least EXPECT them to.

expectations, vacations and bed days

2010-02-03T18:59:00.000-05:00

I've taken a few days off from...well, everything! Last Thursday hubby and I left for new orleans. It was a much anticipated trip and well earned long weekend away...until we awoke friday morning to hubby coughing and sneezing and burning up with a fever. He managed to push through a few activities we had planned on, but a lot of our trip was spent watching movies in the hotel room and ordering room service. The trip was nothinh like we expected which had the potential to be a nightmare, but we managed our expectations (something I'll touch on more in my next post)and between the chills and sniffles we got in some laughs. On sunday I was hit (read: knocked on my boo-tay!) With his flu and traveled home miserably with horrid body aches and chest pounding coughs. Yikes! I was terrified to upset people on the flight but I did my best. I drank my ginger ale, wrapped myself in a blanket and threw the rest up to fate. We both managed to make the two and a half hour (or in our sick time, 10 hour) flight and high tailed it home to curl up in bed. When you're that sick nothing is as wonderful as your own bed.
Needless to say, we've been sick since. This has been a rough one for us. I cancelled and subbed out a lot of my classes as I can barely find the energy or motivation to move -could be because I've barely consumed 500 calories worth of food in the past 4 days- and its helped a lot. I'm semi-notorious for over exerting and pushing myself...remember my blog on working through almost my entire week before succumbing to my stomach virus? Well I didn't do that this time. I've stayed offline and away from my cell. Its been such a nice treat. I've really spent the time committed to healing and resting and nursing my body back to normal.
I can't wait to be operating at 100% efficiency soon! And once I am I'll share more about our "adventure" in new orleans and some pics. Just goes to show that life never turns out the exact way we plan for it to.
Hope you're all doing better than I am my loves! Anyone psyched for the super bowl? I am! And new orleans really brought life to it! Saints stuff everywhere! Love it!
How do you guys rest up and take care when sick? Are you a pusher or a rester? Maybe a lil of both??

where did the weekend go??

2010-01-24T20:22:00.007-05:00

how was your weekend? hopefully good! mine was jam packed and i loved it. saturday was NATIONAL YOGA DAY and i spent the morning at a yoga studio helping set up and giving two mini workshops - one on vinyasa and one on stress relief! you know me... i heart sharing yoga tips for stress relief! it was so much fun and the place was packed out! yogis and sticky mats everywhere! i thrive on energy like that. did you celebrate national yoga day this year? any studios by you do anything special?

sunday i picked up some stuff for our upcoming jaunt to new orleans (YAY!)and finally began to think about what i'd like to pack/bring. this is usually the most trying part of any trip for me because i always wind up bringing close to everything i own. a holdover from my anxious days when i obsessed endlessly about things i may have forgotten (but usually didn't) and things i thought i needed (even though i didn't). so that's the big thing i'm looking forward to this week. much needed quality time with hubby and warm weather. bliss.

i also kicked off my first of (hopefully) many sunday group workouts. i recruited a girlfriend to join me in the park where we ran a mile warm up and then did a mile of training that included everything from walking lunges to traveling push ups to sprints. it was great to get outside, even though it was chilly. and i always adore working out with a friend. we chatted about her upcoming nuptials and torched some calories... awesome. i did miss my hot yoga class, but am totally planning on hitting it up on wednesday after running more last minute travel errands.

i'm finishing up my weekend treating myself to frozen yogurt and catching both football games! bummed the Jets are out, but am pumped for the super bowl. i didn't get to experiment with a lot of raw food this weekend but i did manage to whip up one awesome raw dinner - zucchini pasta and 'peanut sauce' ((totally check out averie's loveveggiesandyoga.com for the awesome recipe!) all raw. all delicious. i finally got my spiralizer and definitely wanted to put it to good use. i've always been the kid that gets something new and breaks it out ASAP. i'm an instant gratification kinda chick. but i will admit... after one botched attempt at the raw peanut sauce i was kind of frustrated, but i figured it out and hubby said it was my best raw dinner yet. so all's well that ends well!

tomorrow i'm back to craziness with yoga classes and clients, fitting in workouts and planning for my trip. hope your weekend was awesome! i think i'm needing some Legs Up The Wall tonight before passing out in bed. Ahhhhh.

PS - anyone check out Bonda Yoga and my upcoming Present Moment Workshop next month?? Feb 21st loves! come join me and get your RELAX on!

face it or fear it?

2010-01-21T13:31:00.003-05:00

i believe i fit into that group of people that is expertly skilled at finding ways to avoid doing what you fear. i spent a huge amount of time crafting endless reasons and excuses as to why i couldn't do this or why i couldn't go there. if i felt anxious at the thought of it... i definitely wasn't going to do it! i would do anything to avoid a panic attack and the exhaustion that followed an anxious episode. i was a master at it.

however, as times began to change and i began to get a hold of my anxiety i began to slowly face my fears. little by little i would step out of my comfort zone and test my ability to remain calm and in control of my emotions and feelings when i felt scared or unsure of something. of course it helped that i had opened up to people about what i was dealing with, so i was vocal about how i felt each time i took a leap into the unknown. and the unknown ranged from going to the movies to taking a road trip.... anything that was a potential trigger for me.

recently i was given the opportunity to face a situation or fear it. i was offered some very early morning classes to teach a couple of times a week. now for me, the early morning is a very anxious time. its subsided to almost non-existent, but every now and then i'll have those anxious feelings if i'm up early to do something. when the opportunity came up for the classes, i expressed my concern with my husband. "should i, shouldn't i?" came up so many times it made my head spin. but i ultimately decided to take them because i didn't want to make a decision with my anxiety fueling the choice. so i faced it. i took 'em on! and i love them!

there have definitely been a few bumps in the road. remember that stomach virus i mentioned? well it hit me early in the morning as i was getting ready for that class. i was sick as a dog with something that reminded me of my worst anxious episodes and i truly felt like crying. i thought i made a horribly wrong decision because at the time i didn't know it was a virus... my mind automatically thought it was anxiety. i guess its easy to fall into old patterns. but the important thing is that i recognized it for what it was, i STILL went to the class and i didn't give up on myself. i thought of this again today as i headed to the class without a stitch of concern of anxiety. i felt awesome! i had a great class! i felt so strong i thought i could jump over buildings! that's how powerful being anxiety-free is! so needless to say, i'm sticking with this. i am facing this head on. and i know there will be times when i feel less than amazing in the morning, but it'll all be ok. and the more i face my fears, the stronger i'll become.

we know i'm a big believer in the fact that we'll always have times when we feel anxious. it's an emotion. we can't relieve the feeling of anxiety any more than we can relieve the feeling of happiness or sadness. but what i believe strongly is that we can heal from anxiety being debilitating or life altering. when i went into the city to the museum of modern art over this past weekend (to see an AWESOME tim burton exhibit!) i chatted with my husband about how far i continue to come. i never used to feel comfy during car trips and if i HAD to do one, i insisted on driving so that i was in control. i wouldn't eat or drink so that i could avoid any potential stomach/nausea issues. but here i was, on a 45 min car drive, as a passenger and we went to the museum and grabbed lunch to boot! and i was feeling fine!

so the eternal question.... to face it or fear it? if you know your triggers its important to begin exposing yourself to them little by little so you know you'll be ok. however, i do think that its crucial to have relaxation and calming behaviors you can call on (and that you know will work!) before facing the fears. because if you don't have those tools or understanding... you can't really ease the anxiety you'll be facing. so commit to stress busters that work for you and go out and start facing your fears! one step at a time!

[insert bliss here!]

2010-01-18T16:37:00.002-05:00

how can we insert bliss into our lives?

*unroll the yoga mat and rock out some sun salutations

*play jazz music

*journal

*get in a walk or run... any exerise that clears your head

*bake cookies (or experiment with a raw recipe!)

*grab a good book

*take a bubble bath

*start a blog

*read a blog

*call a friend

*enjoy a movie

*sip wine

*sip tea

*spend time with loved ones

how do you bliss out?

where did the week go?

2010-01-15T15:17:00.002-05:00

since i'm officially back to real, solid food (woo-hoo!) i am really looking forward to the weekend. i was getting nervous that i'd still be sick for it and hubby and i have fun plans. sunday we're heading into the city to the museum of modern art to check out a tim burton exhibit. totally looking forward to the creativity and eye candy. plus, i love the city. there's just something really invigorating about it. i think i'm an urban girl at heart.

so my stomach virus is finally gone and my energy level is slowly returning back to normal. stomach ailments are particularly hard for me to deal with as it makes me launch right back into those moments when i experienced nothing but pure panic attacks for hours at a time.

my biggest symptom of anxiety was stomach trouble. i would feel ill, nauseous and have an overwhelming fear of panic if i wasn't within a 30 second distance to a bathroom so that if i did get sick at least i could try to hide it.

needless to say, pushing through my week of classes, clients and events (getting by with the help of copious amounts of stomach soothing OTCs) was pretty challenging. it made me anxious. it made me remember what it felt like to live in the grips of anxiety once again.

once i began to feel better, the anxiety of getting sick again launched me into a mini-panic. but i went on with my days, my classes, my work and my life as i wanted to. i refused to let the fear of a stomach virus or stomach problem hold me back. and i'm glad i didn't. i could've stayed curled up in bed for days "just to make sure" that i was perfectly healthy before venturing out, but i didn't. i couldn't. and i wouldn't let my mind get the best of me. if i felt anxious when heading out for a class i turned to my deep, three part breath. i did quick forward folds to get a stress-relieving asana in. and i made sure to monitor my food and diet to guarantee i was eating the best food for my body i possibly could.

it just shows that anxiety never really goes away. but what does go away are the heart pounding anxiety attacks or panic moments. what do you have in your "anti-anxiety" tool belt? what do you turn to in times of stress or anxiety? what are your triggers (my stomach is my sore spot!)? do you have a relaxation ritual?

as you relieve your stress and anxiety, learn what works for you and what doesn't. know what kinds of situations heighten your stress levels. anxiety is an emotion we're bound to feel, but panic attacks don't have to be!